FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

4,851 - 4,860 of 6,906

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

No it's Nikki, I was coming out of mini panic attack. So very sorry my love @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

No that's ok hun. I kind of thought maybe thats was what was happening.
having a rough day babe?
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Did something happen today hun or is it just one of those days?
@Former-Member

have you seen Nat lately babe?

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hey @Lee82 are you still around? I had hubby's sister and kid here so I could reply sorry

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hi There
I am new to this group tonight. I am a good listener. I have been feeling the same as you for a while now.
Very depressed with life in general. I think this Covid 19 Virus has helped any of us either.
If you would like to like to share your thoughts.
I am hear for you.🌹

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Jean2 Welcome to the forums.

@Former-Member @Lee82 @NatureLover @Anastasia 💕💕

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Morning @Jean2 , thanks for the support last night. I didn't get the notification as you need to put the @ then type the name of the person you are talking to. Last night was a tricky one with my niece confiding in me about her young life and everything that is happening now. Unfortunately it was a conversation filled with triggers for me but I internalised my reactions as it took a hell of a lot of courage for her to talk to me at all and I wanted her to feel safe to finish our conversation. It has ended with her agreeing to see a counsellor and me taking her to her first one. On top of how bad it is for me with my MH it was just a lot to process.

How are you this morning @Jean2?

My love are you ok? I actually slept for 5 straight hours didn't wake once. Missing you so much right now, sorry I am not here to support you. Love you Always no matter what. @Lee82

Hope you all find some peace amd calm in your day.

💖👸 @Bunniekins 👸💖

💜🌸 @Maggie 🌸💜

💙🦖 @outlander 🦖💙

❤️🌷 @Zoe7 🌷❤️
💖🦋 @NatureLover 🦋💖

❤️🦄 @Anastasia 🦄❤️
💙🧚‍♀️ @Eve7 🧚‍♀️💙

💜🐝 @Schitzo 🐝💜

And anyone else passing through.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member Hey beautiful thank you for your good morning tag :D. Wishing you a kind and caring day ahead. Weather is looking beautiful here. Hope it is shining where you are too. Love peaxxx

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hello @Former-Member

That is a lot for you to process, you are a good Aunt and your niece will love you forever. I'm sorry though that it was difficult for you. Lovely to hear from you. Miss our chats. Keep taking care of you dear Dizzy.

Hello everyone else xxx

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Dear friend,

I am sorry you are having a difficult time right now and wish terribly that there was something I could do that would actually help. I will hold on to the hope that one day, somehow I will actually be able to give you a hug and talk to you for real. But for right now knowing that you are only a tag away is so reassuring amd comforting it helps more than you could ever know. How are the boys, Boris amd homeschooling going? How is today treating you?

Things are the same more or less at this end, switching has slowed a little with only Little one and Shadow coming and going. Izzy was out briefly on Friday night but has gone deep again. The monster is lurking but so far I have managed to keep him at bay. Nightmares are intense and not my normal flashback nightmares so I don't know what to make of that. I won't be seeing Nat this week at all because we just couldn't find a time that suited us both. We have moved away from the Safe and Sound Protocol as I am being triggered by the words of the songs being used and not the music as intended. Not sure what she has planned next but she will have a plan. I am still very tried and exhausted but pushing through.

Missing you so much sometimes it's more painful than the other stuff going on. Hopefully I will be back to my regular annoying self sometime soon. Until then remember you are loved more then you know, stronger then you believe and worthy of our friendship, love, support not only from me but the rest of your fourm family as well. I love you 3000 to infinity and beyond Always @Lee82

4,851 - 4,860 of 6,906