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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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Thank you gorgeous. Sorry I wasn't here for you earlier. Love you unconditionally, please be gentle with yourself today. I will check in as often as I can today and if you could just hit the support button that would be awesome. @Lee82

In response to: Darkness

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Good morning @Emelia8 , now I am awake a little more how are you doing this morning? Notifications are all over the place, I got none of @Lee82 this morning and only saw her posts from last night/this morning because I was just checking on a couple of threads. I know that the mods are aware and apparently it's being addressed. In case it's not clear 😁 I am so glad you found your way home again.

I feel like I have a medication hangover this morning, I am so fuzzy and have no energy to move off my lounge on the porch. I am having a mocha and watching more painting pouring YouTubes. What's on your to do list today? 💖Izzy

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@Lee82

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Good morning Izzy 😊🧡🌹 @Former-Member

I am doing a little better today thank you. How about you?

Yes the notification issue is not easy is it. I usually rely on my email notifications, but there were none at all yesterday. Then overnight some started to filter through from up to 24 hours earlier. I see that the new notifications on the site here is a little more reliable, but even its slow and hit and miss. And of course you have to be logged on to see them.

Hoping it gets sorted soon, as its very disconcerting. Like you, the only way I knew there were posts which tagged me, was because I went to check specifically on a few threads. And discovered some posts which were from yesterday morning, and which I still have not received notifications of.

Awww thank you my beautiful Izzy ... found my way home again. Yeah .. being here it is a bit like that for me. 💖

Sorry to hear of the medication hangover. I have been on some meds which definitely had that effect on me too. Enjoy your mocha and paint pouring YouTubes. Sounds like a relaxing start to your day. And I hope the feelings of fuzziness and lethargy wears off soon.

I dont have much on my list of to-do's today, other than a medical appointment for my husband later this morning.

Yesterday I was feeling industrious and made a big batch of marmalade from lemons and mandarins which a neighbour kindly gave me. So I was cutting up fruit and peels for that yesterday. All looking good now in their fancy jars. I will give most of it away, to the neighbour who gave the fruit to me, plus a couple of hubbys friends who often come to visit.

Tomorrow I see my clinical psych. 😔 On top of a triggering GP appointment last Thursday, and a dentist appointment last Wednesday, its more than I like to do in a week normally. So I'm fretting a bit over tomorrows appointment.

Izzy I hope your painting room is soon up and ready to go again. I cant wait to see your next project emerge from your paint pouring. And if little Kimmy is around ... please give her my love and a big hug. And a big hug and lots of love to you also Izzy my much loved and admired friend. 💕🤗

@Lee82 ... I hope you were able to get back to sleep last night and that you are feeling better this morning. I will be around off and on this morning if you need someone to sit with you. Hi @Bunniekins @outlander @The-red-centaur @NatureLover 😊

Emelia 🌸

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@Lee82 @Former-Member

Emelia 🌸

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Em, I have never made any type of jam I am scared of stuffing them up I guess. But I will stick to the baking I do as it is very relaxing for me.

Unfortunately the hangover continues, I have a session with Nat in 20 minutes so just chilling by the lake for a bit. Tried to get a nice photo but they are all pretty bad.

I am sorry to hear that your doctors appointment last week was triggering for you and well I have never heard anyone say they enjoy going to the dentist. I hope tomorrow's appointment goes better then you expect.

Kimmy is still not around after she had a flashback during a session with Nat probably about a month ago now, she isn't coping being around. Heading to my sisters after my appointment so hopefully that is ok, it will be if her partner isn't drunk again. I can't stand being around him when he is drinking. Chat soon @Emelia8

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Thank my love, still very worried about you. When your ready I would love to actually chat with you. Sending you gentle comforting hugs @Lee82

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Hey Izzy. How you feeling today? I'm so sorry I haven't bern here today. I jar a pretty horrific night a d so I have been in and out of sleep all day

@Former-Member

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Hey @The-red-centaur @thank you so much for being there last night. I truly appreciate it. I am so sorry for Lea I f so abruptly I was not u. A good place

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Well that session was horrific and Izzy has "checkout" again. Nikki

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