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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Babe just letting you know I read your post I won't comment on it cause I don't want to trigger you anymore than you are already. Just know that I am thinking of you and I love you so very much. 💕

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Tears just won't stop @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I'm so sorry babe. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling right now my love My heart is breaking for you babe. What can I do?
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

There is nothing anyone can do Lee, we don't have a time turner, or Dr Pim and his Pim particles or a time machine so I just have to suck it up I guess. I am all for her body, her choice but I never in a millions thought I would be there. He was 34 and I was a silly 19 year old that believed everything he told me. But nothing can change it, nothing can bring it back. Sorry I am really not coping at all tonight. I want to be around for you but I am not even capable of being here for me. I am so sorry @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Honey please don't worry about me right now. If you want to be left alone please just tell me but if that is the case you have to promise me you will be safe and will check in with me whenever you are ready.
Yes it is part of the past but I understand that doesn't help make the pain any less. I want to give you one great big hug my sweet sweet friend. I want to tell that everything will be ok. I want to be able to take your pain away. You deserve happiness and peace. You deserve love and compassion. I love you so much babe. @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I don't deserve you my friend. I really can't talk right now. You also have to promise to be safe. I will check in later. For the words I can't say right now @Lee82

https://youtu.be/LbUgfrq5qnU

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

You didn't promise me babe.

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Babe please promise me.
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Promise 💖 @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Thank you babe.
love you to infinity and beyond

@Former-Member

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