Darkness

Thank you so very much my wonderful friend. Sending you gentle hugs and as much of my love as you want. @Lee82

Hey Nikki. I'm so sorry I haven't been around today. It's been a rough day to get through. I am in a lot of pain because of my back and being home on my own with the boys has been challenging to say the least. Mr9 is being a s**t head and I can't deal with this at all right now. Mum is really sick at the moment so instead of me getting help from her I am the one that is over there every second helping her.
how are you doing today hun?
@Former-Member what have you been up to today?

hello to everyone hoping your day has had a little sparkle in it and that you all have had a relaxing Saturday!!
@Zoe7 @outlander @Maggie @Bunniekins @Sans911 @Snowie @NatureLover

@Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Pollyotter

Hi @Lee82 👋

I am so sorry Mr9 isn't behaving himself and that you are is additional pain with your back. 😞 I hope mum doesn't have anything serious and is on the mend quickly, it must be difficult to run around after her with your back and everything else going on for you my love. Wishing I could be there to help you out a little.

Kimmy isn't good, she is actually being very difficult and even being stubborn with Sean, rude and aggressive. This is so not her, but the memory that was triggered yesterday has done a number on the poor kid. I am doing ok today. We went to to shops before it got busy and that was a mission to say the least. Now I am rage cleaning, every room is being scrubbed top to bottom. My shoulder is sore but I show no signs of stopping 😞. Bear is the clean freak and I am unsure what has annoyed her so much that we are cleaning this way. Izzy popped out yesterday for a few minutes and the ran away again😞

@Lee82

My beautiful sweet kimmy. Mel is here for you hun. I am sending you a gentle hug gorgeous and hope that that will help comfort you. Wish I could give it to you for real. 💗👸

Izzy my love just want you to know that I miss you so very much but understand why you have stayed away for so long. I only hope that someday soon you will be able to come back to us. Love you unconditionally honey! ❤️🦋

Bear I hope that the cleaning frenzy is helping to comfort you babe but sending you a gentle hug too. 💚🌼

Nikki you are such a strong person my love and I know that you are doing an amazing job holding everyone together. I just want you to know that I love you always and forever and commend what you do every single day. 💙🌟

mum has pneumonia and is not doing very well at the moment. It has been a very busy and tiring week.

how is your dad going? Is he out of hospital? Are you still going over to visit him and your stepmum?
@Former-Member

I am so sorry for your mum pneumonia is no joke and no one deserves to be that sick. Sorry it's been a busy week for you though.

Thank you for messages to everyone and even though they are not present at the moment I know they heard it and it means so much that you took the time to address each of them separately. My dad also has/had pneumonia and had a mild heart attack. I think they said he was coming home yesterday so I will wait till about Wednesday to see if I can go over.

Mel, I am not use to feeling helpless or useless but I do. By christ I hate all the crying I am doing at the moment, right now I am sitting in front of my toilet the last room to clean before vacuuming and mopping all the floors and cry so much it's been hard to type this message out. Exhausted is the world's biggest understatement ever, not to mention I have no idea on how to help Izzy, Kimmy, Bear or Kimberly and by this stage I should. Hate and self loathing are such strong emotions 😞😞😞😞

Sorry to dump on you my love. @Lee82

Oh I'm so sorry to hear about your dad hun but glad to hear he is home. That is a positive thing.

nikki I really wish you wouldn't feel that way. You being here holding up the fort for everyone waking every morning, getting through the day as best you can and getting to bed every night is a lot for one to deal with. I believe you are helping. You are helping by being here while the others take the time to heal. You are the one out hear dealing with everything. That to me says you are helping a lot more than you believe. You are being useful more than you realise. If Izzy was here she would tell you the same thing. You are doing the best you can and that is all anyone can ask for.
please be kind to yourself hun. Less critical talk more positive thinking babe.
love you to infinity and beyond ❤️
@Former-Member

hello @Lee82

Hello @Former-Member

Hey @Shaz51 , I hope you are well and that your Saturday has been an easy one. 💜Nikki

hi @Former-Member

busy day today , home now watching tv xx