Tough Times

First if I go silent it just means I have fallen asleep again. He gave me have a sleeping pill around three this morning because of how bad my nightmares where they kept waking me up and I was Hysterical after each one. @Lee82

Oh geez babe. I'm so sorry you went through that last night

@Former-Member

I knew something wasn't right last night babe because my thoughts kept jumping to you all night.
@Former-Member

She is such a beautiful kid, mine you I think she is older than you. She called me at midnight and I thought she had news of her very sick grandson but she just couldn't sleep. We talked and talked, caught up on the past six years that I had thrown away because I was to spineless to say no to our family. But what is eating me alive is guilt. When I was ten my uncle.... well you know 😞 it was New Year's Eve, my Aunty was in hospital and my baby cousin was sound asleep. I was down there because they had arranged for me to spend time with their whole family but my Aunty ended up in hospital, they asked if I still want to go but I was like uncle will need help with Andy so I went. For the past 30 years I have carried around guilt for not speaking up, terror that he might hurt another child as my Aunty did home daycare at that time. I would have nightmares not only if what he did to me but I would be watching him hurting the other little people that my Aunty cared for. While taking to Franny the other night she confided in me that he also did it to her when she was nine. I don't tell her that I had suffered at the hands of that man.

I was heavily pregnant with my first and only 17 when my little Franny grabbed me and begged me not to let her family take her home. She sobbed and sobbed for what felt like hours. I couldn't help her and it has killed ever since. But I found out that was just after what my uncle had done to her in her own room and she didn't want to go back.

@Lee82 , @Shaz51

@Lee82 are you ok

Sorry it's my notifications.i just got the post now babe

@Former-Member

@HopefulWarrior , you hit the nail on the head, I feel like I have failed 😞 Thank so much for your support lovely

@Former-Member , thank so much for your support lovely. I will try that tip today. Hoping you had a good night with your little one.

I am so sorry to hear all that babe. That must have been extremely difficult to hear. I understand that guilt you have been carrying around because I too carry it around.
I know it's very easy to punish ourselves for not speaking up and perhaps stopping it from happening again trust me I know. But it's just not that simple. You were very young, who's to say you were going to be believe, you were young and I would say petrified and confused. And as you got older I'm sure you would never had imagined it was happening to his daughter. You cannot blame yourself for his actions. They are his actions and he is solely to blame. That perverted f**k is the one that should be sorry for what happened not you.
can I ask why you didn't tell her about you?
@Former-Member

Hey pea, I am hoping you are sound asleep right now. 💜💜 @Bunniekins