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ED recovery just too hard

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor18 Apr 2020, 9:55 pm AEST

ED recovery just too hard

I Fn give up. I thought I could try to eat nice things for my birthday. I even ate a Tim tam.

But fck I want to die now. Calculating how much ate scares me is much.

My dietician is pushing me really hard. I can't do it anymore. I'm gaining weight and I just can't deal with that. The rules from my professionals are destroying me. I can't do it. I won't do it.

Why does every birthday turn into a disaster. Proves I should have died when I was a baby like I nearly did.

I'm sorry I just....can't..

38 replies

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In response to: ED recovery just too hard

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor29 Apr 2020, 10:28 pm AEST

Re: ED recovery just too hard

"The air is cold
I ignored what I've been told
As they tried keep to me here
When I lost control in all those years
The air above my feet
Helps to fall into my final sleep
Beneath my arms, I see the ground
When did all this start, so that I drowned?"
Falling - Our Mirage

In response to: ED recovery just too hard

ZahliaSenior Contributor29 Apr 2020, 10:38 pm AEST

Re: ED recovery just too hard

Hi @The-red-centaur

I'm sorry to hear things are really difficult for you right now, I just sent you a private email to check in with you.

You did such a great thing contacting Lifeline for some support (even if you don't feel like you did).

Hopefully you get some care at emergency tonight

Zahlia

In response to: Re: ED recovery just too hard

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor29 Apr 2020, 11:22 pm AEST

Re: ED recovery just too hard

https://youtu.be/ke43WgVC6N8

In response to: ED recovery just too hard

NatureLoverSenior Contributor30 Apr 2020, 8:03 am AEST

Re: ED recovery just too hard

@The-red-centaur wrote:
Can't I just give up and let my ED finally k*ll me. I'm so tired. In DEM (emergency) again coz I'm so fucked up. Why do I even bother tbh. Shoulda just done the fcking job instead of contacting lifeline. F this shit.

@The-red-centaur I've just seen this...am so sorry to hear you were in such a bad way last night. 😞 Good on you for contacting Lifeline and going to the emergency department...

I remember you have an ED appointment tomorrow...do you still feel able to go?

In response to: Re: ED recovery just too hard

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor01 May 2020, 3:09 pm AEST

Re: ED recovery just too hard

@NatureLover the appointment was ok. A lot of questions. I'm tired.

In response to: Re: ED recovery just too hard

NatureLoverSenior Contributor01 May 2020, 3:10 pm AEST

Re: ED recovery just too hard

Thanks for letting us know @The-red-centaur - glad it was OK.

In response to: Re: ED recovery just too hard

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor02 May 2020, 4:59 am AEST

Re: ED recovery just too hard

I want to run away from life....

In response to: Re: ED recovery just too hard

The-red-centaurSenior Contributor17 May 2020, 3:14 am AEST

Re: ED recovery just too hard

Lately my ED symptoms have been all over the place.

I bumped into someone who new me before my accident. 'you've lost weight, you look good'
why is society so focused on weight. Like do I only matter because I've x kg

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