Any diagnosed germophobes or hoarders on this forum?

Hope you're enjoying your days off @NatureLover .

Well my expensive MRI showed various spinal and nerve problems accounting for a galaxy of symptoms. My prickly gp wouldn't discuss anything so I'll ask the nice osteopath who'd insisted I get the MRI. I feel at a loss with the gp.

I feel exhausted and a bit weepy.

Getting on top of things would be feeling at peace with family, where I live, and how I live. I'd like to feel at home, and connected. I'm not sure how to.

I think it will be a quiet weekend.

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@Dimity wrote:

Well my expensive MRI showed various spinal and nerve problems accounting for a galaxy of symptoms. My prickly gp wouldn't discuss anything so I'll ask the nice osteopath who'd insisted I get the MRI. I feel at a loss with the gp.

I feel exhausted and a bit weepy.

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Ohhh no @Dimity ! I'm sorry to hear! No wonder you feel teary. Do you think the things they found on the MRI can be treated?

Your GP sounds awful. Is there any possibility of changing GPs?

I hope you were able to sleep last night after your upsetting day.

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@Dimity wrote:

Getting on top of things would be feeling at peace with family, where I live, and how I live. I'd like to feel at home, and connected. I'm not sure how to.

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Not sure what you mean by "connected"?

I've been awake since 2am so got up at 5. My own fault, as I had a too-restful day reading yesterday. So today I need to be more active on the house cleaning and tidying.

I've found that the Stream of Consciousness Writing is helping me to start to connect with myself again after being so numb for the last few months. I wrote a list of all my fears that I was aware of and it took several A4 pages of handwriting. Basically everything in my life. Do I feel a little less fearful after naming them all? A little maybe. My psychologist wants me to do the Stream of Consciousness Writing every day and only miss it occasionally. It does seem to be giving me insights.

I've realised that the germophobia serves a protective function as I don't like to be touched, maybe due to the possible CSA? And the hoarding protects me as I don't like having people in my house due to the germophobia being so distressing. Most of my MIs are to protect me from trauma.

I'm feeling overwhelmed by the state of the house and don't know where to start - not even a plan is coming to me. So I will start with laundry as that always makes me feel good - the machine is doing the work for me 🙂

Plus a walk shortly as it's light now.

I hope that today when you wake up it feels like a good day 🤞 and you can get done what you want 💚

@NatureLover @Dimity @Snowie @Bow @Anastasia

hi everyone, i hope you are all ok. i have to mop the floor but I had a bad week. using bleach really gets to me, i had so much stress this week due to family issues. I dont want to set off a migraine with the domestos. does anyone know of an alternative I can use that is not so hard on my sinuses and head?

I think some of the problems are degenerative @NatureLover others might be mitigated by treatment. I'm not happy with my gp but it will be difficult to change.

I slept very late again. It's been physically and emotionally taxing.

I can well imagine that your hoarding, germophobia and other mi's are caught up in protective mechanisms against trauma. It's good you're starting to externalise your fears... hopefully you'll be able to release some in time.

I'd like to connect more with family, friends and community but again there's a lot of fear.

You commented on your overwhelm and lack of a plan... ditto. Unstructured pottering appeals as a way to bridge the gap. Or setting a small target in numbers or minutes. It was a gloomy day too, not conducive to achieving much.

@scruffypuffball I usually use bleach when mopping up after the cat's efforts but occasionally use a dash of sugar soap instead, especially in the kitchen. Haven't bought proprietary floor cleaner for a while.

Rediscovered my steam mop recently but haven't started using it again yet. Was never quite convinced as to its efficacy.

@scruffypuffball Good to hear from you, but sorry you've had a tough week. I use Earth Choice floor cleaner, but I don't see why you couldn't use dishwashing liquid for the floor. It would clean the floor...

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@Dimity wrote:

I think some of the problems are degenerative @NatureLover others might be mitigated by treatment. I'm not happy with my gp but it will be difficult to change.

Sorry to hear. I hope the nice osteopath can suggest treatment 🤞

I hope your sleep has helped ease your physical and emotional exhaustion a bit.

Is the fear in connecting that you don't trust you won't be hurt?

I like unstructured pottering too. Maybe cos I tend to do the easiest tasks first so I feel I'm achieving something. The defined time limits work for me too. Maybe I'll do that today. I also need to tidy the lists on my desk. Yesterday I did the recycling and 3 loads of laundry.

Good luck today with your tasks...

@Dimity

Hi @scruffypuffball

I use vinegar with a tiny bit of dishwashing liquid in it.

Hope you had a good day @NatureLover . It's good you got some tasks done yesterday. I hope you feel refreshed from your days off.

My day wasn't too bad but I'm treading water rather than getting anywhere.

Fear? I tend to shut down in social situations and rejection and abandonment seem inevitable. My gp walked out on me Friday mid-conversation then came back and told me to sit in the waiting area while she finished something. It really hurts. If I ask anything her replies are monosyllabic.

Tomorrow I go back to the psychologist. I'm quite nervous.

This week I want to do better, do more in the house and garden, reach out somehow.

Good luck for tomorrow.

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@Dimity wrote:

My day wasn't too bad but I'm treading water rather than getting anywhere.

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Hi @Dimity , it sounds to me like you are "maintaining" - doing enough chores to keep up? Maintaining is good, and not something I'm good at.

I'm in a bit of a slump and didn't achieve anything yesterday. Making today harder to face - my own fault.

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@Dimity wrote:

Fear? I tend to shut down in social situations and rejection and abandonment seem inevitable.

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I'm sad to hear 😢🫂 I see why connecting seems difficult. But you don't seem to shut down in friendships online though?

That GP sounds truly awful! You said it's too hard to start again with a new GP...is that because you have to explain everything again from the start with them? (Which I know is difficult and something we all dread as we are all suffering complex mental and physical health needs, so I understand.)

Good luck with your psychologist today...are you going there in person?