Hi @CherryBomb, @Shimmer and everyone. 
I joined Sane last week and have enjoyed chatting with people who are caring and understanding.
As a child I was diagnosed with with hyperactivity, now called adhd. Back then it was almost unheard of. I enjoyed life in primary school, because I had so much life and energy and just wanted to have fun. All this changed in my first year of highschool. My family moved countries. I went from being an extrovert to an introvert. Looking back I can see that I was very insecure.
In my early teens I was sexually attacked by an older man. After telling my sibling and they didnt do anything about it, I kept silent until my 30s. I remember always feeling unwell, panic attacks, extreme fatigue and the list goes on and on. I didnt know what was wrong with me and every doctor I went to said, "you have depression, take this anti depressant". I hated being told that I had depression. I felt unwell, nauseous, aching all over, crying all the time,every symptom you can think of. I didnt want to be told I was depressed. I tried MANY anti depressants and they all made me feel worse, all except one, which stopped working after 2 years.
After giving birth 16 years ago, I was finally diagnosed with ptsd. That to me made more sense. So my search to get well continued, but this time I knew what I was looking for. I read and researched all I could about sexual/emotional abuse and slowly I started to recover. I still have a long way to go, but I am finally seeing progress. I now sometimes experience happiness instead of gloom and doom every second of the day/night.
What is interesting is that I often asked doctors if adhd as a child could still be affecting me? Maybe, they would say, but that was it, no more said.
I was chatting with a friend last year, who is very similar to me and she mentioned that she had been to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with adult add. I borrowed a book from the library about add/adhd and it was such a relief to realize that I actually have adult add, without the h. Im not hyper anymore, I wore myself out, hehe! There are different types of add/adhd.
So I diagnosed myself, went to a psychiatrist, who again gave an anti depressant after I had told her that they make me feel much worse. After 2 months in bed, I went off those ones as well. She had me try a couple of other medications, which arent good for me either. Medications arent good for me at all.
I have been to many doctors, psychologists, counsellors, naturopaths, etc. But my own research is what has helped me the most. Reading self help books, eating healthy and now, thankfully I am able to exercise. I try to think positive, not easy, I must say, as I still often wake up fatigued.
Sorry for the long story. I didnt know where to start, to be honest.
So, in my case the diagnosis of depression, did not help me. The diagnosis of ptsd, anxiety did help me. And my own diagnosis of adult add really helped me. My life now makes sense to me. Now I just need to keep on the right track of getting well, so I can enjoy life.
Ive written so much, youve probably all gone to bed. hehe!
