Trauma Survivors - A Safe Space

Yeah you're right @Owlunar i need all the support at the moment.
I think when I heard what happened after reading Whst you wrote and then hearing the news I got really angry. I then starting thinking about my childhood abuse and I was getting upset.
but no it would be worse for me if I stayed away.

Thank you @Former-Member

I'm grateful for the support. I don't have words for how I'm feeling. I often don't. It's not anger. When I heard about it I felt everything fall away.

@Former-Member 💜💜💙💙🖤🖤

He always came from relative money. I am not totally surprised. A supporter of his had words to me at one hearing and said they would get him off. He is a tuff cookie.

I have not come fully forward yet.

I also saw him arrive ... with bent over posture as the camera lights flashed ... at the Magstrates Court ... one of those coincidences that maybe the Holy Spirit lined up for me to see ... who knows ???

Tmrw in my diary, some of us were supposed to meet the new Archbishop, just to talk.

It is cancelled with covid lockdown. I doubt my friends would give him a warm welcome with today's news. Uncanny timing in the broader scheme of things.

So much rage beneath my posts. I have focussed and lots social media also are upset. Tried to cheer up watch comedy. Took prn for calm.

As for personally, one of my complex PTSD's fave thought loops when I read about/see court stuff related to child abuse is:

"What's worse?":

- The trauma itself

- The never ending impact of it

- The fact you sought justice and all you got in return was to be DARVO'd

- Being DARVO'd

- The court deciding you are the one to be punished

- The fact that caused its own trauma

And round and round we go. And that's without all the other symptoms and my other mental illnesses on top, oh and the reminder they DARVO'd me because I'm autistic and a trans person, and used both as justifications for letting my abusers off, countless times, whilst I was the one who got punished. Great.

I watch shows like SVU, seems they always get justice, and think this isn't real, its not a real depiction or portrayal of what its like to go to court for abuse, nothing like it. Justice is just some BS on TV for ratings.

I knew you'd feel angry and upset @BlueBay and although it's horrible to feel thay way it's okay to feel that way

Our justice system is the only one we have - and it's not about what the courts knew or felt - only what could be proven - and then the interpretation of whomever is in the High Court. There is something called reasonable doubt and it exists - it's part of our legal system

You're not alone - other people suffer this too and when I was listening to the TV I felt annoyed and then more annoyed that this guy is or seems to be above the law

But stay and join in with people who understand - you have the right to be here after all

There are people who love you

Dec

😘❤️ @Owlunar

No words would say how I feel. I wrote about the facts elsewhere, but not my feelings.

Huge empathy to everyone here.