Reaching Out

I'm really sorry you had such a shitty night @Lee82 I hope tonight is free from flashbacks and you get some rest. Do you have any coping strategies that help post flashback? I was actually discussing this with my therapist not too long ago, he urged me to get out of bed and do things to physically ground me. He suggested getting up and splashing cold water on my face. Even if it is only 10" in my house in the middle of the night. Sufficed to say, I haven't dared to try it yet. If you feel you can and want to talk about it, please know I am here, anytime.

Look, yeah it's pretty lucky to be employed right now, but, that doesn't make work any easier. I kind of think that the mindset we tend to have of 'well it's a job, it's money' can be pretty harmful. If it keeps you stuck in a workplace that exacerbates anxiety and depression, then it's not really lucky at all. Having your shifts scaled back would, I imagine, create a lot of anxiety around work for you. Is it possible to take AL? To give yourself a break? I sincerely hope life returns to normal for everyone soon.

Yeah, checklists, yep, should probably do that. At least then I won't forget what the Hell I'm doing all the time.

I'm the same, I'm just not comfortable at all with people seeing the real me. Perhaps that's why these feelings become so intense? Because I spend so much time trying to push them away and pretend they're not there? Hmm. This is the great thing about forums hey, we don't have to fake anything. It feels freeing. I'm really glad to have met you.

Hope tonight is a much better night for you

Cheers @Minnie64 appreciate the support

Yea my psychologist also suggest to get up and be active. Try and use your senses. Look around the room and call out loud what you see. Try and ground yourself and bring yourself back to the present but to tell you the truth who can do that when you are in that state. The only time that has ever helped me is when I am in my psychologists room and she is there talking to me and asking me to name things, getting me to physically move etc.

yea I might think about taking some AL. thanks for the thought. 🙏

suppressing the emotions all day everyday is not a good thing because when I am alone it just all comes out and it is a very dangerous place to be. But if I don't suppress them then I will fall apart completely and who knows where that will lead me but I can tell you nowhere good.
I am so glad to have met you too. It is very comforting to know someone else who struggles just like you however I hate that you are going through this too.
I think I will be in for a long night.
hope your night is peaceful and restfull my friend. ❣️

I am sorry I am new to this but when someone verbalizes that something is not right you are reaching out and not needing a whole heep of judgement

@Lee82 I was quite taken aback by the psychologists suggestion to actually get up, as you've pointed out, you just can't when you're in that state. All you really think to do is breathe. At least that's all I seem to be able to focus on. Have you found anything that helps you after a flashback?

I'm all for AL, no job is worth sacrificing your mental health for. If you need a break, you take a break. Nothing else is more important than staying healthy. And if you're noticing an influx of anxiety around work right now, could be a good indication that it's time for a break.

It is hard trying to find a healthy balance of allowing yourself to feel the emotions, without them controlling you. I find this very hard. I agree, suppressing them isn't the way, but being prepared and in control is important when you do give yourself permission to let the feelings in. I'm hardly an expert, but I think it's good, if you can, allow yourself time and a safe space to ackowledge and feel things as they come. Having said that, I haven't ever really done this. Emotions and feelings are things I struggle with a lot. But I still believe it's important, even if I'm not quite capable of it just yet. Goals. One day.

I'm sorry you're in for a long night, I hope you manage to get some peaceful rest tonight. This is going to sound ridiculous, but have you tried listening to white noise when you're in bed? I have this rain sound playing when I get to bed, just quietly, seems to be distracting enough that if my mind starts spiralling I can call my attention back to the sound in the room. It has been oddly helpful. I never used to get a lot of sleep, and always struggled falling asleep, this has helped me.

I've spent the past hour wrestling with Aus Post online trying to set up delivery for something I've done a hundred times before and it's been giving me all kinds of attitude. I'm not sure if my brain isn't working, or if Aus Post is having a good laugh at my expense, but I think it's time to call it a night.

I'll check in with you tomorrow and see how you got on, but I hope you get some rest tonight.

Even breathing sometimes is hard to do after flashbacks @saltandpepper sometimes I have to remind myself to breath.
The only thing that kinda helps is something that I really shouldn't be doing or talking about on here but SH is what helps. I'm so ashamed of it and I always get angry at myself but it's just so damn hard to stop. It consumes me.
sometimes I am afraid to let my feelings and emotions go because I'm afraid I won't be able to put them back away and I will fall apart never to be able to recover.
I use to listen to the same thing and sometimes waves but lately I haven't tried it. I just sit and allow my anxiety to take over because I feel powerless and frozen. Just not in a positive frame of mind to try anything. Just so over it and fed up of it all. Trying is just too hard and exhausting.
I hope you get some rest tonight and that you are feeling better tomorrow. Thanks for listening to me. It means a lot. 💞

Hi @Minnie64 nice to see you here in the forum. You are so right and there is definitely no judgement here.

Just wanted to say hi @Appleblossom

@Lee82 if you can't talk about it here, where else could you? You're more than welcome to talk to me about it, ok? Look, without condoning it, if it's what helps you come back to the present day, I mean, that's ok by me. So long as you are safe about it. I think staying alive is the main factor really, there's always time to learn healthier coping methods when you're ready. And it is like any addiction, you have to be ready to let go of it and replace it with a healthier alternative. Until then, prioritise safety when you need to do it. I hope that's ok to say, and you certainly don't deserve to cause yourself pain, but I get it, and I wish you didn't feel shameful of it, especially not here with me. Self harm is something I used to struggle with as well. I have stopped, for the most part, but it took a long long time to get to this point. It used to be a very persistent urge, just this constant voice in my head encouraging me to do it. When I stopped, it was very hard to control the urge, and even today, if something triggers that response I have to fight it very hard. Sometimes I can resist, sometimes I can't. For me, it tended to be an escape, to immediately stop all other feelings/thoughts/emotions, when I needed to. I'm trying to learn to recognise and understand my own feelings about everything now, and I think taking that step has helped reduce the severity of that urge to self harm. I hope one day you will be free from it.

I'm really sorry you're not in a positive place right now, and I think following a flashback, it makes perfect sense. Sometimes there just isn't a whole lot you can or want to do after it. Just rest and give yourself the time you need to get through it. I understand completely your fear of allowing the emotions and feelings to come through, but one day, the fear will leave you, when you're ready for it to go. It's ok, you don't have to confront those feelings until you are ready.

Did you manage to get any rest last night? I hope you are coping Ok today. And yes, I'm managing a lot better today thanks, joining the forum has definitely helped pull me out of the darkness, and a lot quicker than it would normally take on my own.

Hey @saltandpepper thank you for your response. Not doing well at all today. Sorry but I will respond later on if I'm feeling a little better. Just wanted to let you know that I have read your message and appreciate it.

take care and hugs coming your way my friend. 💗