Trying to get help

Never be sorry for being honest @Lee82

The moderator on tonight might remove it in which my reply will be gone as well.

I am glad to know you are safe my friend💖

@Lee82 , no I feel like sleep will allude me again tonight

Thanks @Former-Member. It's just so hard to be completely honest without consequences. I always have to tiptoe around it with everyone I know. My honestly either makes them uncomfortable or in my mums case do my bloody head in and make things worse rather than better. I have no one on the outside for support except for my psych bit she can't be there all the time. It's a very lonely life. Very very lonely and scary

@Lee82 , I know love and that is why I am

greatful to my counsellor for suggesting Sane. I feel the loneliness too and if it was for you and the others here, I think I would have lost my fight with those thoughts.

I have had a post removed because I was in a state and forgot to watch my wording, I was being 💯 % honest too.

I know how lonely it is, but please know that your not alone here. 💖 Please keeping chatti as long as you need to

Thank you for your kind words @Former-Member My kids are loved and looked after. I always seem to compensate for them and give them a little too much because of the guilt I feel. However the fear of not being a good mum always lingers. And it doesn't help that my mum is always on my back about the things I don't do or do too much of. She is always saying you shouldn't let them do that why don't they do this. She controls my parenting too which I shouldn't take any advice from her cause she was a terrible mum to my brother and I. However she now has a 13 year old girl with her partner ( she is in a gay relationship) and I can't help but be jealous and angry of how much love and support their daughter gets. She has the life I always wanted and it's in my face everyday.

Thank you so much for your kind words @Former-Member . I am so grateful that I found this forum. It has been a big help to me.
I'm sorry to hear you were struggling was it recent. Are you ok?

It comes and goes but it go really dark about 3 weeks ago and even my gorgeous children weren't enough at times to keep me here. But between the friends here and my counsellor the darkest days seem

to have past. I still struggle just not as bad.

@Lee82 💖

I am so sorry to hear that @Former-Member but glad that it has past. I know what your talking about. It still lingers in the background. It really never goes away for me.

We have enough to deal with it would be nice if our minds could just give as a break.

💖 @Lee82 -

are you ok right now

To be completely honest not really.
I have a feeling you need to go to sleep @Former-Member you feel like you can sleep?