Trying to get help

I have tried to reach out to beyond blue and lifeline tonight but couldn't get through. I tried and failed to get myself help. I feel so desperately alone and fearful. Having to write an email to workcover explaining what the appointment with their psych did to my mental state and it's just trigging me So bad. It's kind of what the dam point I just want to quit my job just so I don't have to jump through their hoops. My anxiety has reached a new high today and I am feeling everything so acutely.

I have been there for so many people over the years and yet when I need help there is no one. They say text me anytime, I am always here for you, but what they don't say is I am here for anytime as long as you don't mention your mental illness. They brush me off if I am not my happy self.

I am just over not being enough