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Question

Question

While I am still very new here, I have been chatting with a couple of members very regularly. My question, is there anyway that someone can check on a member that hasn't replied? I have seen a few threads where I felt they where feeling down on themselves for posting it in the first place and I have sent them a message just checking in and they haven't replied. Not sure if I am overacting (am told I do that a lot).

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I am struggling @outlander Not understanding what is happening with me at the moment. Had an awesome break through with my counsellor yesterday and now filled with fear and anxiety can't think straight.

How are you doing? 💖

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Hi @Former-Member

hope you have a good day.

It really is hard to know what to say, when reaching out to people on the forum, as so many are in very vulnerable states.

Keep self care going too.

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Good morning @Appleblossom

I know what you mean, I struggle to know what to say as well. For me, it helps a lot to know someone has heard me and weather they have advice and tips or just a hello it is all appreciated. Sometimes when reading the posts I question weather or not I should even be here, so many of them have struggles I will never know or understand and they all seem much worse than my own.

Hope you have a good day💖

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@Former-Member Thanks for letting me know you saw my post. Sending you a huge hug. 💖

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Im glad you had a breakthrough with your counsellor @Former-Member
I think sometimes aome realizations (even when they are good) can seem pretty daunting and hard to accept so brings out anxiety and fear.
Perhaps journalling your fears and thoughts would be helpful?maybe you could try and exercise called "thought challenging'
You could share some of your journal entries with your counsellor too if you were comfortable.
Have you got any strategies that normally help you?

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I have started journaling and share them with her. I usually go to my local Buddhist temple to meditate and feel the peace but that's out now 😞 I feel so suffocated at home that meditation at home is a little hard.

I have taken a gaint leap backwards today. I am not coping well at all tonight. I have one of my favourite movies on and am colouring in and both are failing to distract me from my hideous afternoon.

I hope you have had a good day @outlander 💖

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@Former-Member @outlander @Appleblossom

Thank you for checking in on me. I've been coming on and off here, just checking things but not replying to anyone. Don't worry about me however. The mods never sent me an email checking in on me which was hurtful.

I don't feel welcome on here due to being bullied by some members, and I don't feel safe here anymore. I apologised for a misunderstanding I had and politely asked mods to remove the comments I reported from them, and no. It seems like bullying is tolerated here, especially people bullying me.

I don't feel like I belong here, I'm trying. Also if you ask me, anyone that bullies people in any way should be blocked and prevented from coming back here with any account, it's not fair. I feel so distressed and have enough to deal with mentally and physically and this isn't helping.

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@Former-Member

I get that you are honestly trying.

I experienced a fair bit of bullying which went undetected and unremarked by mods, which hurt me. I figured they did not really understand how to deal with it, and took time out, and went into non post mode, or just "support button" mode, etc. I am a lot older and maybe that makes me more resilient ???

Experiment with how you are in the world and online here and other places. Sometimes tagging gets a response. I was not big on tagging in general, just specific to the individual.

Take Care no matter what you decide.

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Hey @Former-Member,

I'm sorry to hear you didn't get a check in email in a situation where you feel you needed it, and that you are feeling very unsafe and bullied. Please contact us at team@saneforums.org about these issues as they are serious. At the very least we may be able to give you an explanation about our actions so far and see what we can do to support you from here.

It's tough feeling bullied anywhere. @Appleblossom I'm sorry that you also experienced bullying here and it went unnoticed. That's It's our job to keep the community feeling safe and supported. It may be that it's harder for us to notice bullying in text and over a number of threads. This is why it's really important to email us if you are not feeling comfortable on the forums in case the forums team can help.

Take care everyone,

Tortoiseshell

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Thanks for your post @Former-Member

Tbh I dont think I knew what being comfortable even was, when I joined the forums. I am getting better at understanding it now. I had been in over extended situation for many years at that time. I saw the forums as experimental and not a completely failsafe situation. I still think there is a limit to what the mods can do, so I try and support those who feel on the edge, while still giving respect to working aspects of forum, guidelines and mods etc.

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