Update on DID diagnosis.

Hi, I am feeling weird cause something good is happening...ok start again.

I saw an expert in Dissociative Identity disorder about two weeks ago. He confirmed what I had suspected but kind of also doubted, that I do have DID. I didn't take it well, I had a series of panic attacks for a few days but thankfully they passed. He wants me to go into a psych hospital which has programs for dissociative and trauma related disorders. My counsellor agreed that it would be beneficial. I texted the hospital, took out private hospital cover, found a gp to refer me to a closer psychiatrist cause the guy who diagnosed me is in another state, I need someone closeby. I'm thinking about which suitcase and what clothes, etc. I kind of feel like it's nolonger me who is doing this. It was part me up to the point that I contacted the shrink who diagnosed me. Then I started to feel like I was watching myself...I mean, I am doing the calling, but the driving is being done by someone else. Me, I am terrified of going to a psych ward, never been and don't want to go. That is how I always felt, but I don't feel that now. Now it feels more like we are going to a psychology conference. But it's not going to be fun, it's going to be bloody awful and painful. Two weeks ago, I was so happy just to go to see my favourite singer, now I feel nothing, I haven't even bought ticket yet. I think I know which alter is doing this, I just don't feel like I can do anything about it. When one of them decides they want something, it's just easier to go along for the ride than fight it. I know this will be a good experience, so I should be happy to go myself, maybe it's a good thing she is taking over, cause I probably would not be coping with the idea. Meanwhile, just hanging out here in the background watching myself making calls and organizing things.