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Worn out

TelopeaContributor28 June 2016, 4:02 pm AEST

Worn out

Hi,

I am new to this forum but reading through some of the previous discussions gives me hope that someone out there has similar problems. I have an adult son who suffers from severe depression and addictive behaviours. He moved back home three years ago for supposedly only a short time but is still living with us. He is difficult to live with and seems to be getting worse. He refuses to pay rent, cannot manage his disability pension and acts as if I owe him. He is under psychiatric care but I honestly cannot see much progress. I appear to be at fault for most things that have gone wrong with his life and even a simple conversation somehow turns into often an abusive attack. He treats me as if I am an idiot. As much as I love him and only want to see him well, I feel like I am being emotionally abused and blackmailed. I cannot force him to do anything but likewise having him around is very difficult. I find myself incredibly resentful and stuck.Is there anyone out there with similar problems? Any suggestions?

I consider myself to be a resilient individual who is, as a rule, kind and compassionate but I am worn out. The truth is I don't understand the place he is at, I have tried counselling, mindfulness and a host of other things. The problem remains the same. If I kick him out he has nowhere to go.

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In response to: Worn out

TelopeaContributor11 July 2016, 10:48 am AEST

Re: Worn out

I was able to have a non confrontational discussion with my son about some of the issues happening. I was also able to lay down a few simple "rules" in regards to communication, responsibility and respect. Basically I drew a line in the sand and he appeared to understand. My heart is a bit lighter. It is a step in the right direction I think.

In response to: Worn out

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor11 July 2016, 12:21 pm AEST

Re: Worn out

Hi @Telopea

Some people visit the forums fleetingly, others have been here much longer. Some of the threads on the Lived Experience forum operate like live-chat because they are frequented by a community of people posting across the day, and often all through the night, in comings and goings amongst those who sleep in increments, or who are experiencing a particularly unsettled night .... they keep very good company, and are a ready shoulder for anyone struggling in the moment.

The closest we have on the Carers forum is the Hot Chocolate Anyone thread under the Looking After Ourselves topic ... but it is, as yet, much slower moving. Tawney was over there this morning offering a pot of black tea to anyone partial ..... it's a virtual cafe to pop into and just chat with anyone else who is around.

Take care. I am glad you are seeing some daylight 😊

In response to: Re: Worn out

lovingmumCasual Contributor11 July 2016, 1:34 pm AEST

Re: Worn out

Hi Worn Out...such great news to read that you have taken a stand. Well done to you and yes it most definately is a step in the right direction. The more you push back, the stronger you will feel and obviously, the more responsibility your son will need to acknowledge. This is turn should make him to start to feel a little better in himself also. We all need bounderies in our lives. Hats off to you for making a start on a more empowered life. Keep up the great work.

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