Need some advice

@Eden1919 sweety the fact that you are questioning it is a good thing it means that you are questioning your thoughts and behaviour regarding all of this. Dont give up, keep trying. Like I have always said you are very intelligent but sometimes even when one is very intelligent they need help and you need help which is why you are here talking with us all now. You know that deep down so dont give up trying to open up to your psychiatrist. peaxxx

@Gwynn I wrote a note yesterday but I a, not sure if I should give it to him.

@Bunniekins I am trying but it is hard because I like I don’t know why I am questioning it because I know deep down it is true that they are doing this but I think I am so desperate for it to not be so difficult that I feel like maybe I am self sabotaging to get it over with quickly. That and I don’t know if I am thinking about telling someone because they are making me think that because it doesn’t feel like my thought like they are making me feel that way so that I do what they want because I know deep down that I can’t trust them but I am just so tired and I am trying to make everyone happy but I really don’t know how anymore and I just don’t even know how to keep all of this up like trying to be seen to be doing normal things in a place that I don’t even believe is really real or idk how to explain it I am just so exhausted and I don’t even know anymore.

@Eden1919 I wish I could come along and sit there with you to support you but I obviously cannot. Only you can do this take this giant leap of faith and believe what I tell you hun. In any event I and everyone are here to sit with you while you are going through this. You are not alone. Love always peaxxx

@Bunniekins I know I have to decide but I just really don’t know it is like I feel like I am being pushed to talk about it because I can’t keep up but then also I as so scared of what will happen to me if I do. I just feel like stuck and I can’t decide cause I don’t know what is worse or what I just don’t know and it is making me stressed. Sorry I know this isn’t your problem.

@Eden1919 🙂 No problem I just wish I could wave my magic wand and make it all disappear for you. The thing is you are aware enough to know that you have to deal with this you dont want to leave it until you are totally unaware (which has happened to me in the past) . If you see your pdoc he/she will be able to help that is what they are there for. I know what you are scared of the way to avoid it is to see your pdoc asap.

@Bunniekins I don’t know I just am running out of energy but I am also not sure what the psychiatrist would do anyway because he always says we have run out of meds to try and that he isn’t sure what to do. But at least he isn’t rude like the other ones.

@Eden1919 I just think it is important that you keep that connection with him open. That he knows what is happening in your life. Just opening up to him will help I am sure. If you keep it all bottled up inside yourself it will not be good for you. Promise me you will give it some thought.

Hi @Eden1919,

It sounds like you are having a hard time getting your complex mental health issues under control. I know that what is happening to you seems absolutely real but you have to believe me that your mind is playing tricks on you. Your mind is private and nobody knows what you think, except you, I promise. I'm sorry to hear that your pdoc says you have tried all meds. I was lucky that the first meds I tried worked. I wish I could help you. Have courage and don't be afraid. I promise you your family and pdoc are doing all they can to help. Paranoia is part of your issues but the world really is safer than you think. I hope this helps.

@Bunniekins I will think about it. I know keeping it bottled up is hard but maybe it is just the price I have to pay idk.

@catladybookworm I am not sure if it is it would be nice if it was but I am not sure. I am just really confused.