Here I am

@Pingu Hey Pingu great hearing from you :Dxx. All you can do is give the new place a go and see how it all pans out for you. You might really appreciate that tiny bit more room down the track particularly if you are a home body like me :). Good luck with your fitness classes I hope they work well for you and go in the direction which you wish (please keep us posted). Good luck also with your volunteer work (Omg you do have alot on atm 🐵 I am sure it will all work out well for you though as you are in control over all the situations and not running at them like a bull at a gate. Take good care of yourself and remember to take a breather every now and again :)xxx

Hi @Pingu , nice to meet you,

I enjoyed reading your mostly positive post; it sounds like you have some really healthy goals and intend to follow through with them - this is fantastic.. actually its inspirational as I need to work on some of my life too and reading your post brightened my day and has inspired me to be more pro -active with my goals of getting fitter etc.

In fact you have identified S.M.A.R.T. goals ie Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time bound. These are the best sort to have as they are realistic and can be achieved step by step. I know the room mix up has been a set back but don't let it change your overall course, hang in there and your life will prosper.

I wish you the best on your achieving them

Thank you for your thoughtful responses @Bunniekins @DesertRat Im happy its prompted positive reflection for you @DesertRat its never too late to make new goals or return ones that you may have lost track of. Yes i love smart goals it's a great framework.

Yes - I'm feeling much better about the room now and am going with flow in that regard.

This afternoon my mini goal is to pack up my belongings.. one that will be tricky not to procrastinate over.

I will let you know how it goes.

Hi @DesertRat @Bunniekins @Appleblossom

And others here

The new house has fallen though

I feel really upset sad disappointed about what happened.

Yesterday I found out what the total rent was and how it is split between the housemates.being the leaseholders the couple chose to pay the same as what a simhle person would pay sighting many reasons for this... i came to them and said it was unusual for couples not to pay a little extra to account for an extra person using the shared living spaces. After our discussion I told them i would still move in at the agreed split. I had given them quite a detailed explanation as to wbat my thinking was and also an example of what i thought would be a fairer split.

While they were intially very grateful to me for bringing this up and being honest. They later changed their mind and said they would feel guilty and uncomfortable knowing that i felt that way. So had chnaged their mind and no longer offered me the room.

This happenes late last night and i was due to move in today.

I was so upset i havent sobbed like that for a while.

I don't know what to say to my current landlord's.... this has been such a rollercoaster.

Ping x

@Pingu Do you have a place to stay now?

@Bunniekins I have just spoken to my landlord and they have graciously offeres me to stay on here where im living..

I think i will take a break from looking to move out... I'm tired all this. Ans will focus on getting a job before moving. I think that will attract more suitable sharehouse anyway..

@Pingu

You did the right thing with that couple. They were not prepared to budge even though they knew you were right. You are better off elsewhere. Keep looking after you. Glad the current landlord is flexible. A roof over one's head is bottom line.

Hey @Pingu Checking in with you and wondering how you are doing?

Hi @Zoe7

I'm ok

There's some really positive things happening. But right now I feel a bit lost and hard to find my way. Hard to believe that the positive things are real and that I'm deserving of them ..

I have been volunteering and it's been wonderful. Very social and I've met some really lovely people that I respect and admire. I have now been asked to join the executive committee! A long term responsibility... It's hard to believe I've made such a good impression so quickly and feel it will be hard to uphold.

I went to my first group exercise program this week. The goal of the group is to improve mental health my establishing regular exercise habits.. I got really triggered this afternoon talking about how I felt at the exercise group with the support guy who called to check in. Being the first kind of thing I have done that really is mental health focused.. and the facilitators knowing a lot about me (my diagnoses and some of my experiences)

I felt really exposed and had trouble being vulnerable... and accepting of that.

Even tho the main focus is the exercise.. and it's positive .. like the whole point is that you exercise enough that it has a positive impact on your mental health.

I'm at this point where I'm getting better from recent events and just as a whole since the beginning of what would probably be considered my first major episode..

But I still think i need help. To start to understand this new version of myself.

It's like now that i am beginning to be quite high functioning and not suicidal that I should be ok and get on with life.

I know how to try to be rational and try to make good decisions and choices. But I think there's some more that could be better.

I feel like an imposter sometimes.. trying to be a version of me that I don't know very well

It's easier to build bigger walls around myself and my feelings.. that I don't understand and to perform to the world an inauthentic self that I perceive the world wants me to be

To move forward It's like this bridge to cross or river to follow that's dangerous and falls away and there's no directions to follow to get there or to find it

Hey @Pingu It is hard to establish those routines but you are doing so well. Exercise is something I need to get back into but with my back still not right I need to see my physio first then go from there.

I understand your reservations and feelings about yourself in regard to the volunteering role you have been asked to undertake - we are our harshest critics and when we have self-esteem issues it is really hard to think we are doing a good job or that we are seen as worthy of such roles - but they must indeed see your worth and value to ask you to do that. Finding that belief in yourself is hard but they see it and you can work from there.

Life indeed does feel like we are imposters in this world at times - especially when we have been so unwell for so long ...it is hard to accept the newer 'version' of ourselves or that we are well enough to feel how far forward we have moved. It takes time to accept the positives in our life but I hope that you can see your own worth and how far you have come. Keep doing what you are doing because it seems that it is not only working but you are actually thriving.