Suffering in silence

I'm a aussie guy 44 and live alone, I have done for a while as I lost my family members to tragedy after tragedy. I lost my wife and kids because of my inability to open up get the help I needed, now 8 years later I have been in a worse position. No friends no family and no direction for my aching heart or my mind of confused confetti. I try to sleep lots as I am not hurting when I sleep, but if I dream of a loved one I wake crying realize that i'm alone and hate the world more once again..I get up each morning and say today I will go out and find things to do. But I cant do it as there's nowhere to go...Although last Sunday I made it to church but I couldn't muster the courage to talk to anyone...I feel each day I become more invisible and soon no one will miss me here?? Help please anyone 😢