querentxyzSenior Contributor
Caring for my mother
HELLOOOO!!!!!!!
I want to write a post to tell my story about caring for my mother.
I am in my early 30s and Mum is in her mid 60s now. I live with her normally but a couple of days ago I have just moved to housesit for my younger sibling in a suburb that is about 25 mins drive away I think. My sibling has just moved overseas for 3 moonths.
My mother is a survivor of many rapes in her childhood at the hands of a religious. A few years ago everything sort of fell apart completely and she was hospitalised a few times and one of them was involuntary because she struggles with aggrssive impulses towards religious. Mum was diagnosed by different psychiatrists with Chronic & Acute PTSD, BPD, and Bipolar 2. The Diganoses she has dedcided to work with have bene PTSD and Bipolar 2, she says that BPD is a crazy person. Mum has a lot of trouble in daily life. She is profoundly dyscalculic, she becomes very rageful and gggresive. These are managed with a mood stabiliser medication.
For some time we did not have a mental health plan as Mum was resisting treatment, she was saying "I'm better now". She became much more aggressive towards me, saying unkind things. , Then we got back on the mental health plan so things are better now, She is saying a new GP and a new counsellor. Psychiatrists are too expensive for us and it is too difficult to find one nearby who will bulk bill. The psychiatrists have not always beeen helpful in the past. Now She is using the medication again things are better, she is interested in complying withthe medication and recognises it as something she needs. She is fairly noncompliant with the diganostic tools and will not respond to them consistently. Honestly, I don't care about the diganostic tools except as atool for directing treatment
Life has not been easy. I was having a lot of trouble with depression in my youth & hospitalised a few times in early 20s for chronic and acute depression with psychotic features, I am much better now. ,I am just very exhausted by taking care of my mother,
I am very tired as daily life is filled with emotional events. Grief meltdowns and rage spirals, and tremendous overreactions to daily inconveniences. There have been troubles in our recent years of a close relative dying and there is always always some additional problem to manage, for example writing a strata scheme
I tried really hard to tie everytingg up at home before ICame to stay here so that I will have some time alone.n, It is very different being alone, It is greatly peaceful.
I have been drinking too much, the problems became ovewhelming I don't think I am an alcoholic, but sometimes I feel like it., There is no escape, the problems wear me down. There is no escape.
I am currently trying to complete a Masters degree and very exhausted. I am not drinking at the moment, I don't really feel like drinking, I am just trying to study. I have 1 week left to go. Iam a bright student who gets high distinctions. I am very tired, I just want to lie on the bed and have a rest. I don' want to study but I need to complete my semester
I am just writing this because I have been feeling very alone. No help I feel taht noone undrstands my life and my sitaution,. I am feeling very tired,and I feel abit unsteady ,The Recent weeks have become really really difficult. I have been feeling for a long time as though running on empty but the recent weeks just, really, very very tiring.
I am currently looking for a job. I am just trying to complete my semester. There isn't much of my degree lef t to go. I am very tired and just having some trouble concentrating., I am really tired, I feel sad. I'm so relieved that I am staying away from my mother for a while. My sibling is no help with every day life at home, busy with own life and does not seem to care much. I am a sensitive type person and it is difficult to protect against the emotional onslaughts., I am tired at the moment adn just trying to complete my semester
Thanks
