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Something’s not right

You may not remember me...

You may not remember me...

I haven't been active on the forums for quite some time, but I thought I would pop in and say hello. I start a new course on Monday, I am working with young children two mornings a week, I am more connected with friends than I have ever been... so why am I here about to lament? Stupid MI is why!

My illness currently stands as treatment resistant paranoid schizophrenia and reactive depression and generalised anxiety disorder. Being treatment resistant means medication either doesn't work at all or only works for a certain length of time before I have to change medications entirely. I've even been on the last resort medications... with limited success (one of the meds caused a heart infection which nearly caused a cardiac arrest so I had to come off it quickly).

My graduation ceremony is next week and I am worried I am not going to make it to the event. I am terrified I am going to be hospitalised. My shrink even indicated that might be the case if my current medication increase doesn't lessen my symptoms. I may as well be taking Tic Tacs I believe, as I voices and delusionary thinking is continuing unabated. My voices are giving me the most horrible commands... things I don't want to discuss as its too depressing.

Why does mental illness have to be so complicated?

Anyhoo, thanks for reading. x

41 replies

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In response to: You may not remember me...

Re: You may not remember me...

@Queenie sweetheart just remember we love you and to come back when you can. Love peaxxxx

In response to: You may not remember me...

Re: You may not remember me...

@Queenie i am sorry that has happened. take the time you need and i hope things get better for you soon.

In response to: You may not remember me...

Re: You may not remember me...

hugs @Queenie

In response to: Re: You may not remember me...

Re: You may not remember me...

hugs and hugs @Queenie

In response to: You may not remember me...

Re: You may not remember me...

Bless ya heart @Former-Member pear,

that was a very restrained response to my Ffffffffffff fhuh fhuh fhuh fhuh fhuh feisty.

Look, there were publicans in my bloodline so you gotta be fast on ya feet, and if you lost the arm wrestle there's no hard feelings kay?!.

There's always one nashy pear, always one, in every group. And the way I saw it, my voice is important, it may just be opinion but these are my lived experiences. So I am not able to get Beyond Blue, is that my fault?

In some ways I am beginning to trust anecdotal evidence more than the formal stuff. Heard another horror story about the MH unit at my closest public hospital, so yes, I do believe the mental health system is broken, they can't even recruit a permanent psychiatrist there, and the shrinks that should be serving the community prefer not to. They want to keep their high paying post for the $$$$, but having to deal with @Queenie post hypnosis and ending up in the ER, oh gosh too hard, no thanks.

I don't know about you @nashy, and seeing that Sane gets most of their funding from the federal Department of Health maybe you're not willing to say, but don't you think that the name ScoMo sounds like some sort of hideous, tropical skin disease you'd see in a Dermatology journal?

"Will you scratch my ScoMo please, it's really itchy today"

"No. I will not scratch your ScoMo".

"Please?"

"No.

"Where is it?"

"In places that have no name"

"Is it contagious?"

"Oh yeah, really contagious on the north side of the bridge especially"

"Gosh, sounds awful man"

"Oh man ScoMo is the worst, can't stop scratching this baby"

In response to: Re: You may not remember me...

Re: You may not remember me...

@Corny Thanks for your response

Absolutely there are elements of the sector that need to change, I know in Victoria the Royal Commission into Mental Health is attempting to uncover and remedy a lot of this pain. We certainly want all members to feel they have a voice, and you are right your lived experience is vital in shaping the future narrative 🙂 Just popping in to remind you of this particular guideline, as it would be great to keep this thread's momentum steady!

As always, Mods and CMs are available via team@saneforums.org if you have any follow up questions.

Cheers,

Nashy(Pear!)

In response to: Re: You may not remember me...

Re: You may not remember me...

Thank you @Former-Member pear,

We never know who is a climate change denialist and who isn't do we eh?! Ya can't always tell by looking at someone.

As you can imagine after almost 40years of being engaged with the mental health system in one way or another I have a lot of pent up frustration. I was taken to a MH ward and separated from my mother at birth, so I don't know how many more credentials I could possibly get. Reading that Queenie ended up in hospital for a few months after the hypnotherapy she received, I found that distressing, disturbing and quite disgraceful. I have also read another post of hers where she said her psychiatrist threatened he with institutionalisation. Two of my family members died in institutions in NSW so that kind of struck a cord.

People hovering at the psychotic end of the rainbow are treated appallingly by a lot of medical staff and with regards to psychosis I don't believe the stigma has moved an inch. Even amongst other people with other MI's I have noticed that some people look down on patients with Schizophrenia, Bipolar I or Schizoaffective Disorder because prejudice plays out in our community similarly to how racism plays out in society.

My father who had NPD became obsessed with schizophrenia and he diagnosed us all in the kitchen many times over. People with NPD are fixated with status and hierarchy, are terrified of being at the bottom of the social ladder and becoming a social pariah or a no one. That's where he placed people suffering from this brain disorder, and he looked down his nose at them, when really, his type of 'sickness' was so sick and rigid & intractable that it is hard to convey it to another person who hasn't lived with that sort of sickness in a parent.

Here is a puppy for you Nashy pear. I cannot promise ScoMo he is a pentecostal puppy but he could be...later Corn Dog

https://twitter.com/Lisa_Bizzle/status/1193220924327288834

In response to: Re: You may not remember me...

Re: You may not remember me...

@Queenie

I am glad you return to the forum whenever you can and really value the conversation you raised and that @Corny developed in both her logical persuasive and quirky humourous ways.

Like @Bunniekins I get attached and sad when people leave, especially in the first coupole of years that I joined Sane forums. But as I get used to the feelings that come with posting and reading and being a part of this community, I manage it better, dont take coming and goings all personally, but can just reflect and be aware of my feelings. So that must be heathy ... huh ... maybe lol ... idk what normal is ... lol

@Former-Member was sensitive and inclusive in her posts about discussing professional guidelines.

@CornyI dont think you were that feisty, consdering all the issues you described. Some similar issues to my journey, so your post came close to my heart.

I wanted to highlight the concept

of "trusted"

being separate to "qualified".

It seems it takes time and effort on side of the therapist to develop TRUST. Another way of putting it might be diligent application of therapuetic principles, regardless of specific modality "being used" or "in play".

The trust word is a new concept I am exploring. Others probably can take it a lot more for granted ....

Thx for making me laugh re scomo ... @Corny have you seen the mural called "Merry Crisis" where he smilingly offers a cocktail in his Hawaii shirt ...

Cheers All on this thread

@outlander @Shaz51 @Eden1919

I should not be happy really ... considering the fires and heat today ...

so its a mixed emoticon bag ... really

In response to: Re: You may not remember me...

Re: You may not remember me...

@Appleblossom dont feel guilty about being happy. also I saw the merry crisis painting but they have painted over it funny how they can find the time and money for that but dont care to do anything about that actual problems.

In response to: Re: You may not remember me...

Re: You may not remember me...

@Queenie nice to see you back i hope your day is going well.

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