Eating disorder and more - need a shoulder ......

It would my friend @Faith-and-Hope , take care, I know that feeling

Xoxo

Hi all .... 👋

Copy-and-paste update here from the LE forum ....

“Some decisions are starting to be made around here @Zoe7. We had an overseas trip booked and paid for. I will be going on it with the baby dragons, except one, it turns out now. That be and their dad might fly to join us for Christmas / Mew Year, depending on their mi needs, and plans they are making to resume studies next year. That one lost their semester 2 achievements through all this ,... 😔 .... the other one is still battling to rescue theirs ..... 😔

its still nearly a couple of weeks till I head off, and I will be looking in and looking for you and other forum friends, and I won’t be gone quite so long this time.

I am hoping to hear that your new work placement is sorted before I go.

I am still doing okay, but my connections on the forums is still a tremendous support through all this, despite not posting as much at the moment. Just being able to sit with you, and others here, means the world.

💚💐🦋💕❣️”

@Faith-and-Hope 💕💜💕💜

Oh @Faith-and-Hope I just read on another thread about living arrangements with Mr. I have to say I’m a bit aghast. I have not caught up on all the threads and feel like I’ve missed much. Always here for a sounding board or vent should you need. Big hugs and feels for you. I hope the trip goes ok. Writing this knowing you are the silver lining queen (although I get somethings are harder to find it now), I hope the silver lining will be no more crazy trips when it doesn’t suit you and that you can breathe after study as can bd’s from now on. I think the power structures will change for the better (although I’m guessing there may be a few times it will feel like walking through hell).

Sending you so much love and hugs 💜😊

That's really tough @Faith-and-Hope . If he decides to join you I hope that it isn't too strained for everyone and increases the anxiety for all the family while on the other side of the world, but I guess they will make that judgement call in a month or so.

There was always going to be awkward loose ends to tie up and having had children together you can't really disentangle yourself from him forever, which will be really hard at times.

I am sorry to read that the cubs studies have suffered, its hard to cope with disappointments like that, and you wish you could have better health like other students. Life's a lottery, and we can makes plans, but in the end that's all they were. Who knows what path all of you will go on and the marriage breakdown may bring about new beginnings and closed chapters for a lot of people.

Shock is an amazing drug and it can put you in a numbed out trance for decades in some cases, but often it does lift or seep through sideways, and when it does it can hit you like a tonne of bricks. I hope that you can plan some down time next year or time off or away, because it will take a lot of stamina to keep going some days, and realistically the family has been stressed out and trying to make sense of your ex-H's mental health conditions for 10 years......that's a long time and I can relate to the toll it takes.

Does he appear to be less symptomatic now its all out in the open, and his ED and mental illness has settled a little in the last month, or have you noticed the opposite?

Corny

@Teej @Corny

The family holiday we are now taking without Wayward Husband and one of the baby dragons will be a re-set and down-time for those of us going, and a chance to regroup.

WH is nicely occupied with a new live interest, which is helpful in a way, and I doubt she is in the know about everything that I would want to be if I were her ....

He has also been quite settled, feeling that he is in control of our separation, however the baby steps Ihave been taking across the time since he moved out are gradually changing that dynamic, and there may yet be fireworks, but I hope not.

It will be awkward ongoing because he has rediscovered (??) a fatherly interest in co-parenting our disabled one, but that is what it is, so we will have to patiently and civilly work with that as she will never be truly independent.

Fireworks pass @Faith-and-Hope , don't let him manipulate the situation. Some fights are necessary. You've suggested that he and some of his family exhibit NPD behaviours and thought patterns and their sense of self is very self focused beyond the average.....if this is true, I am hoping that after all these years you are able to see through it, and will be able to protect yourself if that ever happened, which I am hopeful it won't.

I read a post on the LE side of the forums about 'covert narcissim', and from my experience it is not covert at all, it is actually a more self aware narcissism, that often comes in the female form. I have mainly seen this in women, not everyone presents as a Donald Trump, and the only reason it is not as demonstrative and in your face is because they know they are narcissistic.

They over compensate for it by faking insecurity & a lack of self confidence to try and hide their sense of entitlement, play the damsel in distress to the n-th, but have very high anxiety because even this is inauthentic & put on for show. They get the jitters that peeps like me, with my past, see straight through these chicks, I don't fall for the self-doubting sham for a single second.

I think if your husband was to be self serving it would be pretty obvious and nothing covert about it at all. It sounds like he can have a short fuse sometimes and it would all explode instead of being an orchestrated plan to deceive & gets what he wants. Guilt will play a big part in the separation because he does genuinely love his children, and I don't think he will try and railroad you, but that doesn't help how you feel as an individual and as his wife, that its only because of the kids he is being considerate would really hurt....

Its natural to be curious if the other women knows him well, health problems and all, and wonder if their relationship has substance. I guess weather it works out or not may not be enough anyway. Maybe there has been too much water under the bridge for the chance of a future reconciliation.

It will be nice for you to get away and be really far away from the stress of all of this.

Corny

Thanks @Corny ....

Listening and appreciating.

First round fireworks have commenced.