So relieved to read you are going the legal path @Faith-and-Hope . That is not to be combative, but realistic.
It can all get very complicated if couples try to base the separation on good faith, or the hope that so many years together actually meant something. But it can backfire, and sometimes they lead you on with niceties to make sure they get the best $$$ deal and then throw you to the dogs.
There can be a lot of fakeness and opportunism along the way, and to wrap it up legally is to ensure that it doesn't boomerang back down the track if they reach tough financial times and try to suck more out of you or the kids. That will not be your problem anymore.
Easy to implement but getting through the emotions will take so much time and exhaust you, but it will be worth it @Faith-and-Hope . He has been treating you with contempt for too long. I read on someone elses thread ages ago, something along the lines of their partner or family must consider them as valuable and desired as 'pond scum' based on their behaviours. I thought that was great. Can totally relate to that feeling. That becomes soul destroying if you live with that for too long.
You have chosen the lesser of the painful paths, I assure you. Both choices were painful, I know it doesn't feel like it now, but in the long term, this is the lesser pain.
Corny 
