I think you are doing all the right things @Faith-and-Hope . I think if you can hold strong for as long as possible using your great diplomatic skills things will change because they will have to. I'm talking about perhaps you staying put if you can cope with it because I doubt other parties involved will cope over time and think it's weird. It's not your choice to do this so staying in a home designed for family sounds like that is your choice.
I know it will p,at out terribly through courts. I was told to trust the system and did and it's been ok (although the occasional hiccup). Please make sure you have every detail down in triplicate from your lawyer before signing any consent orders. I'm finding the hard way about this now. It will still work out ok but has added a last complication where the funds are now frozen in trust until it's sorted.
lastly make sure you get the superannuation you are entitled too, not the one that feels right. I didn't because I didn't feel it fair but just now I can tell you I wish I had.
The kids will be ok. It will feel messy for them too but over the course of time they will work out what is what and what is B:pile_of_poo:. It might take a while but eventually B:pile_of_poo: usually shows itself up. I'm finding this out now.
Lastly kick his behind by completing those studies to the best of your ability and have something to look forward to in your eventual new life which I can assure you will be liberating after all you've been through over decades. There was an article on women our age in the paper the other day talking about the freedom and self assureness that comes from not having a partner. I know it will open many doors for you, ones that you should never have had to open because of his behaviours but ones you richly deserve.
