Working through dilemmas involving values

I think it is brave to share something as personal as your values list @Teej I really appreciate you being so open, thank you. I relate to a lot of those values you have listed as they were on my (ultra long) list. It made me wonder whether there are certain values that work together or against each other as far as determining the strength of relationships between people.

You inspired me to have another go at identifying my core values, to see if it might help with some of the dilemmas I am having. I’m going to kind of cheat also Mine are:

Fairness and equality

Empathy and compassion

Personal development

Connection

Individuality

Safety

(I feel like I need to add a little side note here to say that I searched on thesaurus to find the values I related to which had broadest definitions to narrow this down. I think that’s like double cheating maybe haha)

I found it really helpful, though very difficult to do this activity again. It would be interesting to see how much they’ve changed (if they have) since I last did this.

@Maggie Thanks heaps for sharing that image. I had a dig around some of this theory as I hadn’t come across it before. I found this here that (long story short) explains the diagram/theory as being that the top half represents anxiety-free values motivatied by growth and the bottom half as anxiety-driven values motivated by security. The left and right sides represent values with a personal focus (left) and values with a social focus (right).

I really enjoyed thinking about this perspective and it helped me consider what might motivate me/us to have certain values or act in certain ways. I also thought that a lot of the clashes I experience might stem from a clash in personal and social focused values too. There’s probably something in that to work with.

I am realising that my quest to find a simple, actionable, practical answer on how to “do” values clashes was perhaps a bit of a stretch ;). I am really enjoying the food for thought and the learning here though. I’m going to have a look around to sort through some of what’s out there on values conflicts.

@CheerBear @eth @Shaz51 @Teej A lot to think about. 🤔🤔🤔🤔

https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1007%2F978-3-030-15745-6_3.pdf

So much food for thought. for sure @eth , @CheerBear , @Maggie , @Teej , @Former-Member

That’s how I felt when I read it too @CheerBear . Learn something new each time I re read.