Connect with people who understand what you are going through,
seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're
free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
Just looking for some coping skills with pending day surgery. Since the psychological trauma of watching my girl die suddenly in 2011, it seems to have split me open, resurfacing & exposing past trauma as if it were yesterday. Even a routine pap smear sent me into a panic attack from the flood of memories, i burst into tears & left it not done. Now u/s has picked up a suspicious lesion the want to biopsy via curettage. I was supposed to have it under GA but with the Asthma & risk of triggering a maj depressive episode (as in my first breakdown & lengthy hospital admission 20yrs back), they're planning a spinal. So how can i be aware of everything & not relive past sexual trauma. They say they'll sedate me but I'll still be aware. Not allowed visitors in day surgery.
And there's that place of having to hand your whole self over to other people, strangers, and being helpless. Then being alone (live alone) after it, nobody to talk to, cry with et while i wait to hear if I'm dying or not (slight exaggeration).
Any tips guys? I just feel past by use-by date. Not only might it cause
I can tell you about letting them know or not - don't worry about inconveniencing them - they are not at all worried about how you are supposed to cope with all of this
If you see a lesion as a ticket out - missing sunrises and other things - that is a choice - we all have to leave eventually - and it seems as there are not crowds of people rushing around to help you
But that can be your choice - I am not at all sure I would not make the same one - I haven't had a vault smear for so far back the nurse couldn't find it in her computer - and I have an idea that a lot of money is spent for us to have tests to prevent or find early lesions - or whatever - it is the scary thing we don't want to know about - and I am not writing the word here - I have the bot here stop me from posting certain words in red - so I am not posting that one
Don't cancel yet - keep your doors open - how long are you having to wait anyway?
I feel so sorry you are going through all of this - alone it seems
Decadian - who does care
In response to: surgery & ptsd
Unknown userMember
Re: surgery & ptsd
Thanks @Decadian,
Thanks for your support. I don't feel so alone when i can talk here, thank you everyone, & i do have a couple of church friends praying for me. I think I'll be ok now i understand the reason why I'm so anxious, & after talking to MH today. I think it would be good to find out my options but if its stage 4 ca I'm not doing the chemo.
Things could be worse. I'm reminded of an old quote:
"I complained about not having any shoes until i met a man who had no feet"
You sound more positive now, what did you get up to today?
In response to: surgery & ptsd
Unknown userMember
Re: surgery & ptsd
Have to have a little chuckle over my minds wacky ability to 'catastrophise' things, to the extreme where I'm even thinking things like 'this could be my last day alive. You may laugh but when you sign that OT consent form the doc gives a list of possible grim complications.
Doesn't help that a friend tells me she knew someone who had the same procedure, had the bowel accidentally perforated, didn't realise 'till she got septicaemia & she died within a week - as if I need to hear that atm
That same friend popped in for coffee yesterday & so stressed she was compelled to downloaded her many current life stresses (hubby, work, health), even cried a few times poor soul. I felt so helpless but shelved my need to talk my, listened, gave her chocolate and she seemed better when she left. Wishing me all the best for my test.
I've really appreciated having such compassionate people here on the forums, like you @Decadian, @Former-Member, @Faith-and-Hope, @Appleblossom, @Former-Member,... and anyone else I've forgotten. Really breaks the isolation.
What, just now, while typing, the hospital rang & asked me to check in 6am now for the morni g list, not the afternoon list. My heart skipped a beat & the anxiety hit the roof 😞
Anyway, as a treat I've booked myself into the haidresser so i better stop procrastinating.
Sorry to keep talking about myself, i've been trying to keep up with your posts & do send positive thoughts & prayers your way even when not typing. 🌻💜🌷🐝🌞🌹💜💜💜💜💜
Anyway, today for
In response to: Re: surgery & ptsd
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: surgery & ptsd
Hi @Former-Member
Thanks for tagging me in this morning. I had missed that this thread was you ...... I don't open just any thread cos Inam following quite a few already, but this is so important for you ....... very proud of you that you opened it for support, and are receiving a lot ❣
All the best with the procedure @Former-Member. I will be thinking if you and praying for the best possible outcome.
Stay strong. You can do this ❣
Hugs n hugs ❤️
Find a special song to sing in your mind to help keep your courage in place ......
💐🎼💐🎧💐🎼💐
In response to: surgery & ptsd
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: surgery & ptsd
Hi @Former-Member😊
How are you doing ?
In response to: surgery & ptsd
Unknown userMember
Re: surgery & ptsd
That was quick F&H, does your phone alert you? I'm usually offline i guess. I'm busy getting ready, packing overnight bag. Getting lots of palpitations so I'm obviously anxious underneath, trying to do mindfuless but its hard to still the mind.Bought some flowers & card for the lady that's letting me stay over (in town closer to the hospital as req), so you think I should get chocies too? My son often tells me i go 'over the top' when visit him.
In response to: surgery & ptsd
Unknown userMember
Re: surgery & ptsd
Hi @Former-Member and @Faith-and-Hope. I've just come home for lunch. I'd ran out of steam. I'll be thinking of you @Former-Member. You seem to be hanging in there ok. Well done. Not long to go now and it will all be over💐💜. Thanks for the nice comments this morning too. Wishing you the very best and hoping for a speedy recovery😊💜
In response to: surgery & ptsd
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: surgery & ptsd
If it pleases your heart, and you can afford to, go with the choccies too @Former-Member. It might be considered over-the-top by some people, but you have to be who you are somewhere in there too, and you are obviously very grateful to this lady for opening her home to you ...... especially under these sort of circumstances. I am so glad you will not be on your own while staying with her. Just having someone else there, knowing what you are going through, is a steadying influence, even if they were to say nothing at all.
I think most people tend to get that feeling of palpatstions ahead of an major event, so some of what you are experiencing is comin to human nature rather than particular to you - I hope that helps. I find when people say things like that it helps me to find perspective on what I am going through.
Try to think of each aspect as a bit of an adventure if you can, and give each moment the time that it needs, ahead of looking to the next moment. Packing, having a cup of tea, choosing the fkowrrs, writung thw card, greeting the lady you are staying with, etc.
Baby steps. Mindfulness. Courage, Strength. You know you are made up if all if these .....,.
I'll send you some virtual flowers tonight - for you !!
🌷💒💜💐💌☕🎼💗💐🌷
In response to: Re: surgery & ptsd
Unknown userMember
Re: surgery & ptsd
I'll think of you tomorrow @Former-Member. I'm having day surgery tomorrow too, although mine sounds much easier than yours because at least I'll have a general. Still worried though. Luck to us both 🙂
We're improving how you access SANE services, starting with Forums
You’ll soon be able to use one secure login to access all SANE services.
For added security, members are now required to log in with their email address and password - member names are no longer supported for logging in.
If you had a Forums account before 19 May 2026 and haven’t set up your new login yet, you'll be prompted to set up your new secure login when you sign-in.
