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Hello everyone, I’m really struggling with everything at the moment and I am trying to do what I can to not think about it.

LostrNew Contributor22 Sept 2019, 11:41 pm AEST

Hello everyone, I’m really struggling with everything at the moment and I am trying to do what I can to not think about it.

Hello everyone, I’m really struggling with everything at the moment and I am trying to do what I can to not think about it. I know it’s not the answer and in the past it has only made things worse I feel. I’m pretty much feel lost because I am having trouble with things I have done and do. And I don’t know how to go about it, I normally do what I can to not deal with things and it seemed to just make things worse. At least that’s how it seemed to me and then I get upset with myself because of what I have done to not deal with it or what I do when I’m in that state. And I also sometimes don’t even remember what I do or have done and sometimes it isn’t wright or doesn’t make me happy when I realise what I have done and if I’m not happy with it then other people would not be also. I seem to be on a big downhill spiral and I’m not happy with how it effects other people and myself. Could someone please help me with a with a new way of coping with things in stead of trying to avoid them with what I can to not deal with them. I know it would be best not doing it in the 1st place but I don’t think sometimes before I do something, ex specially when I do what I can do sometimes to not think or deal with what’s happening. And I am over hurting other people and myself because of my actions or what I say by not thinking before I act or say something. And if I do think a lot of the time I think in the wrong way or act in the wrong way, I don’t know why I do but I would like a way to change what I do or what I say. Because I am over hurting people and myself and making a negative impact on other people by what I do or what I have done. Can someone please give me any ideas and ways I can think and change my thoughts or to think in a different way before I act or say something. I’m over letting people and myself down because when I feel that way I try to avoid what I have done and it seems to just make things worse. I know that I will never be perfect but I want a way to change my thoughts and actions so it doesn’t effect people or myself in a negative way. What I am after is a way to change how I think or not think or avoid the situation all together and deal with it in the wright way which it seems like I don’t by people reactions.

2 replies

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In response to: Hello everyone, I’m really struggling with everything at the moment and I am trying to do what I can to not think about it.

CheerBearSenior Contributor23 Sept 2019, 6:04 am AEST

Re: Hello everyone, I’m really struggling with everything at the moment and I am trying to do what I can to not think about it.

Hi @Lostr and welcome to the forum. It's great to see you here reaching out. It sounds like things are pretty tricky for you at the moment.

I think a lot of us can relate to dealing with things by avoiding them or by doing things that might feel OK at the time but that can make it worse in the longer term. A good starting point might be to look at what's behind not wanting not to deal with things. Is it stress, fear, pain, overwhelm, boredom etc.? I've found it useful to identify what's driving my thoughts and behaviours and try and challenge that.

Something that's also helped me is to have people to support me to explore what's going on for me and to help me work out what changes I'd like to make and how I can do that. Do you have any supports around that you find helpful (friends, family, professionals etc)?

Are there any times you can think of where you feel good about the way you have managed a situation like the ones you're describing? One practical strategy I use that I often feel good about afterwards is to try and pause before acting on something. Stepping back (literally) and tuning in to what's going on inside and around me can allow me space to consciously decide how to respond in a situation rather than react to it.

It's great you are able to recognise that things aren't going well and that you're thinking about change. It's not easy to change things we're really used to doing and I hope you're able to be gentle with yourself while you're going through this.

In response to: Re: Hello everyone, I’m really struggling with everything at the moment and I am trying to do what I can to not think about it.

silverspoonSenior Contributor24 Sept 2019, 8:58 am AEST

Re: Hello everyone, I’m really struggling with everything at the moment and I am trying to do what I can to not think about it.

Hi Lostr

You sound very confused, with your mind running at a hundred miles per hour. Very anxious. My heart is with you. I know exaclty how you feel about hurting others and the self hatred that follows. But change doesn't happen overnight Lostr. Do you have a psycholigist or a psychiatrist? Or perhaps a counselor? Someone who can support and guide you through the changes you want to make. Changing our thoughts and behaviours takes time and dedication. I write poems about my emotions and troubles... the time it takes me to complete my writing keeps me in touch with my soul, and allows me to express my authentic self. Sometimes i cry when i write which heals my mind and heart. Physically writing the truth about your desires and needs, regrets and sorrows will start off new thought patterns for you. The more often you do this the more intrenched the new thoughts patterns will be. Doing kind things for the ones you love will help you be a kinder person. Perhaps you could write about stopping to think before you speak and act, and what joys that will bring to your life and the lives of others.

Take care

CKS

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