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Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

CherryBombSenior Contributor01 June 2016, 10:40 pm AEST

Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

Mental health challenges in parenthood: Speaking the unspeakable

Parenting is challenging. Change can happen in every area of wellbeing: physical, emotional and social, and the impact on daily functioning can be huge. Knowing when and how to speak up about the difficulties of parenting is complex. There are often expectations that define parenthood as something to be enjoyed. But sometimes these expectations don't match reality. Join us this Topic Tuesday with our special guests from PANDA to talk about how to speak the unspeakable.

Two things you can do now:

1. Register as a member of the forums, which enables you to participate in the session

2. Hit the like button below to receive an email reminder on the night

3. Can't make it? Leave your question below to be answered during the session

83 replies

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

Unknown userMember21 June 2016, 8:16 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

Hi @PANDA

i'm a single mum with no close friends or family nearby and i work full time. I find it so hard to get to those self care things like exercise and fresh air, just because there's no time.. especially now its winter. And its so hard to find any extra energy i do often just feel exhausted.. as you say.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

Unknown userMember21 June 2016, 8:17 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

Welcome to the conversation @Appleblossom and @Snare183!

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

sscContributor21 June 2016, 8:17 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

@Lol and @PANDA, I tried to write a list of all the things that are positive self-care strategies for me. I must admit, in the thick of the stress/anxiety/depression the list was small or met with "I can't do that" (e.g. going for a run - but being exhausted and late into pregnancy; reading a book - but having a headache from stress etc...). As ridiculous as is sounds I have "having a hot bath" on my list of things I now do once a week - which is not anything I ever routinely used to do but "forced relaxation time" was essential for me (and a freezing winter helps!), and I started going to yoga class (which can make me feel great, but again can sometimes feel like a chore - so on those "chore" days, I don't go). I also find that on those days where exhaustion and stress are both at their limits and you know you "need to do self-care" sometimes self-care for me on that day is actually lying in bed for a bit. It took me awhile to get my head around "allowing" myself to do that - but for me, if the alternate was dragging my exhausted body and head around "doing things" I would be worse off...

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

SanefanContributor21 June 2016, 8:17 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

Comfort food (in moderation), meaningful music, walking a pet, and a bath with a candle to focus your thoughts are a few examples I can think of that are great diffusers and a 'treat to self'.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

PANDASenior Contributor21 June 2016, 8:19 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

So many great supportive comments @mrkotter. The one I would like to emphasise is having a regular bedtime if possible.

Sleep is so essential to emotional and mental wellbeing. It is often the first thing to go when experiencing a mental health decline, and not getting enough sleep contributes to mental health decline. It is a catch 22!

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

SquirrelSenior Contributor21 June 2016, 8:23 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

@Former-Member that sounds like you are doing it tough on your own. Your own support now may need to be your focus as showing him that you have a plan of care will be an important piece in him feeling supported. It sounds like he too may not know who he can rely on with his eldest brother gone. MI is scary and makes us and those around us vulnerable to many of life's challenges. Do you see a family therapist? Does he have support other than you?

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

PANDASenior Contributor21 June 2016, 8:23 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

Great to have ways to care for yourself @Sanefan...I love the 'comfort food (in moderation)

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

sscContributor21 June 2016, 8:26 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

@mrkotter I definitely second to-do lists! Also something I never did until my thoughts became more drained. Now I write in my phone notes e.g. "Tuesday to do:" and at the end of the day the tasks not done remain I just change the day name. Getting tasks out of your headspace and on paper is SO helpful!

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

Unknown userMember21 June 2016, 8:26 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

It sounds like struggling to find time for ourselves is a common theme here, but there is also lots of commitment to making more time.

Thank you @mrkotter, @ssc and @Sanefan for the great self-care suggestions. Having small things on your list like “having a hot bath” is such a great idea. Everyone's list is different but having things that are achievable even on a hard day can make it much easier to find the time.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

mrkotterSenior Contributor21 June 2016, 8:29 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

@ssc wrote:
@mrkotter I definitely second to-do lists! Also something I never did until my thoughts became more drained. Now I write in my phone notes e.g. "Tuesday to do:" and at the end of the day the tasks not done remain I just change the day name. Getting tasks out of your headspace and on paper is SO helpful!

Yeah I use wunderlist on my work phone! And hey siri is an absolute god send when remember something at 10 at night and you just want to note it down.

And post-it notes. Post-it notes everywhere.

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