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Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

CherryBombSenior Contributor01 June 2016, 10:40 pm AEST

Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

Mental health challenges in parenthood: Speaking the unspeakable

Parenting is challenging. Change can happen in every area of wellbeing: physical, emotional and social, and the impact on daily functioning can be huge. Knowing when and how to speak up about the difficulties of parenting is complex. There are often expectations that define parenthood as something to be enjoyed. But sometimes these expectations don't match reality. Join us this Topic Tuesday with our special guests from PANDA to talk about how to speak the unspeakable.

Two things you can do now:

1. Register as a member of the forums, which enables you to participate in the session

2. Hit the like button below to receive an email reminder on the night

3. Can't make it? Leave your question below to be answered during the session

83 replies

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

Unknown userMember21 June 2016, 7:35 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

@Squirrel and @PANDA, do you have any tips about reaching out for support if you are experiencing mental health challenges as a parent? And are these challenges common?

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

Snare183New Contributor21 June 2016, 7:39 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

Great question - I'd love to know as well 🙂

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

PANDASenior Contributor21 June 2016, 7:44 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

Perinatal anxiety and depression is common. Up to 1 in 10 women and 1 in 20 men are thought to experience depression during pregnancy and up to 1 in 7 women and 1 in 10 men experience postnatal depression. Anxiety rates are higher with many expecting or new parents affected by both.

Outside the perinatal period mental illness is just as common but the challenges are different. Children rely on their parents to help them navigate the world and when a parent is not feeling up to the task due to physical or mental health issues the impact can be great. Seeking help early leads to the best outcome for everyone. Continuing to suffer in silence, feeling guilty about not being able to parent in the way you would like is not the best option.

A good first step is to make a GP appointment. It can be hard to walk into an appointment and immediately open up about your concerns. It can help to keep a list of things that are worrying you and take this to your Dr. Note down

Any difficulties with sleep. Are you having difficulty getting to sleep, staying asleep, or waking very early? (unrelated to meeting children's needs)
Any changes in appetite
Any thoughts, feelings or behaviours that are scaring you
Any thoughts of self-harm of suicide (or that your partner or children would be better off without you)
Anything that is out of character
Any thoughts or feelings about baby/children that are causing you distress

If you feel unable to speak in the appointment you can hand the list over and allow the GP to explore your concerns.

Has anyone got other suggestions for beginning a conversation with your Doctor?

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

SquirrelSenior Contributor21 June 2016, 7:46 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

Hi @Former-Member It is a particularly confusing time the teenage years even without the additional needs of mental illness in managing boundaries. It is important you get some support yourself with your parenting role as opposed to your carer’s role. They can blend very easily. Let your teen know you will get it wrong sometimes but that you will always be there for them. Set some clear boundaries together so that communication stays open. Treat yourself gently as it is not easy. Do you see a counsellor for your needs? Liaise with the school and be your teens advocate with educating those who may not be mental health literate. Smooth the path so that the energy they use in managing themselves does not become overstretched and you pay the cost.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

SquirrelSenior Contributor21 June 2016, 7:48 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

You may also like to take a look at COPMI Children of Parents with Mental Illness who also have support suggestions for family and friends of those with MI http://www.copmi.net.au/family-friends

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

mrkotterSenior Contributor21 June 2016, 7:50 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

@PANDA wrote:

Has anyone got other suggestions for beginning a conversation with your Doctor?

Such a good question @PANDA!

I think it's just such a tough thing to do and people don't recognise it. 'I should just be able to go see a doctor' or 'why is it so hard to go see a doctor' Both things I've thought. But it is hard and should be recognised as such. I think the way I approach it is to make a pros/cons list of saying something. Generally the pros win out.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

LolNew Contributor21 June 2016, 7:51 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

I'm finding it hard trying to juggle family and work especially when you don't have that family support or village around you to help out. Working part-time pretty much means you end up trying to get a full time job done in less time which causes even more stress. Then trying to look after yourself as well - where is the time for that? It feels impossible.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

PANDASenior Contributor21 June 2016, 7:51 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

Great to hear that you got the support you needed when you rang PANDA @ssc. You are so right about taking that first step. Having a supportive GP can make all the difference.

With that said we often hear about negative experiences of help-seeking... where someone has tried to talk about there concerns and they have been minimised. It is really important if this happens to remember that this is not because your concerns are not valid. For whatever reason that was not the person for you.

Keep trying. It takes courage but will mean that you get the help you deserve.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

Unknown userMember21 June 2016, 7:51 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

Hello @Former-Member. I think guilt can be par for the course as a parent, and parents are human too – no one can be consistent all the time! Another resource that I've heard is useful is Parentline. This is a service for all parents, not specifically around mental illness, but offers counselling to parents. Availability differs for each state but is 24/7 in some places.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

Unknown userMember21 June 2016, 7:52 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Mental health challenges in parenthood // Tues. 21 June, 7pm AEST

Thanks @Squirrel. He is often angry that I am not like all the other mums. My biggest issue at the moment is getting him to school. He has had many absent days when I just can't do the battle with him to get him to school. He is now failing because of it. I guess I have struggled to communicate with the school. My counsellor knows but there is never enough time to deal with this in sessions.

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