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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's the same here too, @eth. If I'd been diagnosed and had better medication earlier, it's likely my verbal abuse of my partners might never have happened, or been much less. These are some of the guilt/shame issues I want to deal with now with my psychologist. Some of the psychotic beliefs I mentioned last night also relate to what exactly I did experience as a child. In my mind, it extended to sexual abuse of me. Now I think that was a psychotic perception that went on for a very long time. It's hard to live with that!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's the thing about psychosis @Mazarita. It is completely real to us when we're in it. And traumas are a trigger. Whether it was actually real or not is almost not the issue in a way, coz it's what we perceive that affects our responses/reactions.

In this week's writing lesson there is a great quote from the teacher : "Our lives may be determined less by past events than the way we remember them". That really came home to me. She goes on to talk about discovering and re-visioning through journaling., to enable healing and empowerment by changing perspective from within. And 'feeding' the stories that heal.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That sounds really interesting, @eth, about discovering and re-visioning. Was that part of the healing from abuse course? How does it work though? Clearly we can't just rewrite the truth as we remember it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No it's from the Way of Story Writing course @Mazarita. I'm still working out how to apply it in my writing. I think what it's saying is that we can write with negative or positive outcomes. e.g. write about our perception of events but go on to record how that transformed us, what the benefits might be of such transformation, like interacting with people in a different way, or travelling, or learning over time to manage our conditions/diagnoses, or having healthier relationships eventually than our family of origin did..... still musing with this.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Interesting, @eth. It's true that whatever I experienced in childhood has had a profound effect on who I am in general, and that includes some of what is good in me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Exactly @Mazarita. If we work on healing from the past eventually we wake up to the fact that we know better than to repeat the cycles. Well, some people do. I'm still working on it. Until recently, for the last 8 years or so, myself and my adult child have been both doing this work and supporting each other with it. Recently though it's been all about them and twice they've been abusive to me. Really hard to take. Instead of speaking and sharing every 2 or 3 days, I've only spoken briefly with them twice in about 3 weeks. My approach now will be to keep the focus on my granddaughter and use the K.I.S.S. principle - keep it simple stupid. Much safer than re-entering a minefield. As much as I love them I simply HAVE TO protect myself while I'm so vulnerable.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

As much as you may miss the more regular, supportive contact with your child, I'm very glad you are protecting yourself from further abuse as much as possible, @eth. Regardless of what they have experienced in the past, they are an adult person now and have responsibility for their own actions. I also now feel guilt and shame over how I have treated my mother throughout my adult life. Even now, when I am with her in person and she just can't stop talking loudly in my face, these negative impulses in me grow stronger and I find myself snapping at her and getting very unhappy in myself.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

My mum does that too @Mazarita, and also commands respect and to be heard without giving respect or truly listening. She's 77 now and I've given up hope of her changing, but I still react, tho' somewhat more quietly than when I was younger. I am quite certain that her recent visit was the primary trigger for this hypomanic episode. And by now the chronic insomnia and anxiety about possible further escalation are making it very hard to 'come down' again. Still, at least I'm quietly making good use of all the extra waking time and not running around town doing risky behaviours like I used to. And I haven't escalated into mania. Self-management and meds alteration must be making some difference to past episodes.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, I think the same goes for me too with medication and self-management. Although I have chronic sleep disturbances (as we know not good for bipolar), and although I also seem to experience mild cycles of elevation followed by depression and even some mixed state symptoms, I feel relatively stable at this time in my life as never before. I am so grateful for that. I think advancing age may also have something to do with it. And the fact that I have been in this stable relationship with C for 14 years now. Despite his sometimes disturbing frames of mind, he is very solid in his mood states really and that has a good effect on me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

First currawong call of the morning just now, @eth.

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