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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51, are you the same with cooking, as your mum and grandmum? I'm guessing you would have had good cooking learning when you were young at home. Home made sausage rolls sound especially yummy to me. I'm especially a pie lover. That's so great that your cooking is appreciated. Beef casserole sounds great. I like casserole but we almost never have it here. Did you have it with rice?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Beef casserole made 2 dinners for us , first night with mashed potato and the second night with rice and took some to mum @Mazarita

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, sounds very lovely where you are near a bay, especially the way you describe it at first light. I am shy in some circumstances, including with strangers, so I wouldn't be saying hi to everyone I meet. But it's nice when it happens from time to time. I do try to lift my mood a bit when I'm out, or at least appear to be in a better mood, but it doesn't lift me up to being highly social (it was a different story when I was manic, then I had 100 friends, lol). Sometimes when I'm out for a walk, especially a beach walk, it's a moment of solitude with nature, so I'm not always social with people at those times. I probably appear standoffish to some people.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

By the way, @Shaz51, @Bunniekins, the longish break between replying to your messages just now was because I made myself a lamb sandwich, which I've also eaten now. Oh yum.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita my mum used to make lamb roast which I really enjoyed. Now I am a veggie lol .... perhaps a soy lamb roast for me?:)

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Yes I think I seem standoffish ... I don't mean to be like you sometimes I just get overwhelmed by the sensory input of people and things around me. It is at that point when I need to escape back into the safety of my lil home.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, are you a vego for health or ethical reasons, or both? Perhaps something like this would suit you better:

vegan creamy avocado pasta

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, I really know what you mean by sensory overload and needing to retreat back home. So get that too. It's a struggle to get out of the flat because of that too, as well as my social anxieties. But I like to get out as well, because being in the outdoors and seeing other people bring good feelings as well. One of the oddities of visiting my friend is that we are always sitting outside at a laminex table because we are smokers. Though deadly, smoking is a good reason to go outside.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita It is ethical reasons. When My son1 came over the other night both him and his dad had a salmi pizza and it looked so yummy....I didn't sway though. Plus I have son2 watching he would be horrified if I ate a salmi pizza! 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's wonderful that it's for ethical reasons, @Bunniekins. I am in sympathy with it too. But my willpower is miniscule and I grew up on a cattle and sheep station until I was 5. My meat and milk diet was set in place pretty much from birth and very hard to change now. The longest I have managed to be vegetarian is one month in my 20s.

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