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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I remember you had long sessions with it. We werr often chatting at this time while you were waiting lol @Mazarita im glad your happy with it though 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Haha, that's true, @outlander, we were doing that. I was on my mobile waiting for the video to process on the desktop. You jogged my memory, which is not as good as it used to be.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh @Teej while im thinking of it.

Did you get those flowers i sent you on your thread? Ive got a memory like a sieve so i cant remember if you seen them...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Haha yep @Mazarita 😜 i dont mind chatting to you even though its often at this hr lol.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I see her weekly @Mazarita. I’ve known her for 6.5 years and she’s been my therapist for all but 18 months. We are the same age and have lots in common so there has always been a friendship too. We actually literally have a coffee together each week. One of us gets them. She schedules in extra time so we have coffee time too. I think part of it is that we know each other too well. For much of that she has taken me on at no cost or really minimal cost. Our current arrangement is that I pay her what I can afford which isnt much. It’s really hard because she is my biggest support but I’m not making much progress. I think that is maybe a bit of both of us though. I’m not blaming her at all. I am not easy to create change with. She also uses my 10 sessions as payment so she gets some payment. I know I’m lucky and spoiled. I don’t want to lose her (and won’t) but I think just now it would help to have new eyes to work through some things.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander Oh I just remembered. I did look but they were triangles and I must have forgotten to go back to check. I’m so sorry. I’ll have a look now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Teej you have no reason to apologise whatso ever. 💜🌼

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That makes sense re your therapist @Teej she seems more of a friend then a therapist so maybe fresh eyes would help.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That sounds like a long and rich relationship with your therapist, @Teej. My first psychiatrist occasionally offered me coffee too. We also happened to turn up one day at the same al-anon meeting. That was interesting! We sat next to each other too. I can understand feeling the need for fresh eyes on your situation too. I saw that first psychiatrist for 13 years, on and off. Sometimes I went long times without seeing him. He didn't get my diagnosis right until the very end of our time, when he just suggested it to me almost in passing (which I promptly didn't take seriously for a long time). But he helped me in huge ways too. But it has helped me in the long run as well that I found other psychiatrists in my journey. It's great that your therapist is so good with her waiving of fees etc. Every psychiatrist I've had (aside from a couple of single sessions), has been bulk billed. I couldn't do it otherwise. Pretty much the same with psychologists.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It’s a bit of a catch 22 @Mazarita for me. I know it’s not possible to find someone to bulk bill. I’ve tried before. Sometimes it’s great and I get lots from it. Sometimes (lots), I’m in crisis and she’s just trying to put my wheels back on which she usually does fairly effectively. Sometimes I get so frustrated though too because I need her to help me in a different way.

I do see a psychiatrist too about monthly through community mental health. I was hoping this would help fill in the gaps but that’s proving to be a roller coaster ride.

Im glad youve had lots of experiences with people to know what’s effective for you.

Think im nearly ready for sleep @Mazarita, @outlander. How are you going re sleep?

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