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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Its good to see you anyway @Teej

That is the reason i dont journal or ill rip it up and put it in the bin. I really only use to to get whats on my mind out. I use to journal on my computer but havent in a while. Was doing more harm then good tbh. @Mazarita

Goodnight @Sans911 hoping tomorrow goes well for you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Teej above part to Mazy explains my journalling attempts

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I found that with journaling @outlander. It kept everything going stronger in my head. I recently tried doing a more positive thing of trying to record good things of my day or neutral things. That was helping me look for them more. The wheels fell off with me doing it over the last few weeks but I want to get back to it. I think it really helped at the time.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Teej, I have a physio appointment at lunchtime. Need to get in the shower before then, often a bit of a struggle. But I think I'll be okay. Nothing planned aside from that. Maybe some video. I did some tonight too.

@outlander, well, I can understand that too. Sometimes it gets too dark and draws us in to it too far. I understand that you don't feel drawn to it anymore.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That was the same for me too @Teej when i would sit down and journal that way i found myself getting dragged further in instead of working things out. Now i just use my worry box. Works really well for me. Maybe itll help you guys too...?

Oh like a positives journal? I started one too but like you just fell off the band wagon abit. Its hard to see the positives in darkness

What other things do you find helpful?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That’s good @Mazarita not too a hectic day after today. Today’s been a bit of a crazy ride for me. I have my therapist appointment tomorrow but I actually feel like I’m ready to start spacing out my appointments. I’ve really struggled lately with therapy. It’s not because of anything we are doing but I’m not getting much from it. It’s a bit like having a coffee with a friend. I think I’m just confused. Sorry. That was a rave.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I like the poem writing though. Havent written one in a long while but i like reading yours and others so keep those coming too.

@Mazarita

Did you finish the video you were working on when we last spoke? You were doing lots of editing

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I don’t have many coping strategies @outlander. I have two go to things when I’m really struggling. One is playing mahjong mindlessly and the other is doing jigsaw puzzles on my iPad. Sometimes looking at Pinterest. When I can’t concentrate on mahjong I know I’m struggling massively. It’s often at that point I seek help.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Teej have you had a look at 'got a good coping strategy-share it here'

Theres a few pages worth of things.

Its my old thread so will come under former member but i still try and update it when i find things.

Have you heard of a worry box before?

I like mahjong and puzzles too. I found another one called 'pop cubes' theres apparently 900 levels and its really addictive. Im at level 130 atm

Its good that you know some of your warning signs too. Do you think maybe thats why you arent benefiting from therapy as much now- your self awareness? Or maybe you just need it when things get tougher.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

How often have you been doing the therapy lately, @Teej? I space out my 10 sessions by the month. That way I'm only without her for a couple of months (mostly over xmas). Coffee with a friend seems good though. I have a similar kind of relationship with my psychologist, though she does give me suggestions and focusses the discussion on somethings when I mention them. P.s. this is the rave place.

@outlander, that's cool with the poem writing. You keep 'em coming too. 🙂 Yes, I finished that video. It was really time consuming to make, I was having long sessions with it. I'm happy enough with it.

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