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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Busy day ahead then, @eth. I know what you mean with the medications. I find it tricky when travelling too, for the same reasons. In general though, I only approximate taking them at the right time. I find that life in general gets in the way of doing it like clockwork. My hours and mealtimes just aren't regular enough for that. Still, I aim in the right direction with all of these things and hope it makes a difference.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I have alarms set on my phone for 9am 7pm and 9pm @Mazarita and in the normal run of things take my meds very close to those times. But I'll be with much more nocturnal people the 2nd part of my trip so will likely take them later at night. Most of mine need to be 12 hrs apart to guarantee maximum coverage.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's probably true of mine, @eth. Most of mine need to be taken with food and my eating times are irregular and I don't like to eat just to take meds, for the weight issue. I do think it's really good that you take them very regularly like that.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I manage much better when I have routine in my day @Mazarita and this is one of the very small ways I maintain it. I'm not very good at sticking to any other routines, daily or weekly. Help to create and stick to a daily and weekly plan is one of the things I hope to have help with once NDIS plan is in place. As it stands sil often checks in with me and prompts me, but I still often don't do what she suggests. But that's partly the rebel in me responding to 'shoulds'.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Rebel, yes, me too, @eth. My mind is riddled with 'shoulds' yet my actions seem to be driven by a wild child. She's trying to be more obedient though.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I just saw a meme on fb that said 'She knew she could .....but she was lazy AF and didn't' .......pretty harsh but I think it's true of me at times. At least that's what my negative self talk says quite often.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Laziness is part of it with me too, @eth. But then I ask, why so lazy? And then I think about physical and mental illness. And then I understand and forgive myself. Laziness seems to be part of the stigma applied to mental illness and I try not to be too down on myself as it just makes things worse. I tried to whip myself harder at many other times in my life, just made me sicker, leading to breakdown. I could tell you stories!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I agree @Mazarita and I've had similar times. Popping out for another smoke - giving up is another thing I haven't done.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm back @Mazarita Thinking I should lie down for an hour and then get into the jobs. But not just yet. I've enjoyed chatting this morning - I miss our dawns.

Looks like it's going to be overcast and very cool here today. Yesterday I did a load of washing in the hope it would be dry before I go but it doesn't look likely coz of the rain overnight.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Maybe take the damp washing in a plastic bag and hang it to dry as soon as you get there, @eth. Pretty sure I've done that before and it was okay. Ah yes, memories of overnight chats in the past! Now feels like a special occasion, like we're really there before your trip, wishing you well.

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