FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

7,811 - 7,820 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I have to teach my phone how to unlearn typos like like way it spells pretty. It autocorrects to "pretry" and drives me nuts!

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It is awesome, @CheerBear, long may it last. I think it's related to one of my recent medications having a secondary benefit with the crohns. Not what it was prescribed for. It's only been about 3 weeks really but I just don't have the pain I used to have with it. There's been a noticable improvement, though my guts still act in extreme ways, just with much less, more managable pain. I hope your friend finds remission too. Thanks for sharing in the good things in my life as well.

I had an odd thought about your situation, without the break you hoped for. The pj days at the moment are possibly a good way to have the break, but in chunks, rather than all at once.

Having said that, yarn bombing sounds very cool.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I really hope it stays that way for you @Mazarita, where it's manageable. Part of my med issue and why I can't take them is that they tend to interfere with my physical stuff, and any meds that could help that can interfere with my head stuff. It's a bit frustrating. Awesome when it works in a good way though! It would things in general feel a little/little bit more than a little better maybe.

I'm thinking of pj days a bit like that at the moment also. At the break place we couldn't stay in pjs so this is a bonus 😉 I would have been sitting in a beanbag and probably crocheting there and I can do that here 🙂

It's super cool! It's tied up in feminism and activism and it can be a bit rebellious too. It makes the streets look so awesome (I think) and I always smile when I see it. A lot of getting in to it is via social media which is a bit of a barrier for me. I'll find a way eventually though.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Makes sense that feminism and activism is part of it, @CheerBear. I like how it's considered traditional womens domain to knit but it's taken out of the purely private realm and displayed publicly. Sounds like you will get into it at some time.

I remember you having physical health issues and the need for some surgery not that long ago. How has it healed at this stage? There is the same problem with crohns too. The strong anti-inflammatory medication I was on for five years in my 20s wreaked havoc with my moods. I swore I'd never take it again after I had surgery the first time. I did end up taking it again but only for a matter of a couple of months and when it hadn't improved things enough in that time, I was given the option of the second surgery. Things improved a lot with both of those, after the recovery time. But never took it away to the extent I feel now.

Things in general are okay. I always have darker shades in my thoughts. Sometimes deeply pensive and troubled feelings about my life and life itself. Lots of troubling stuff really still, but okay and able to be content and happy sometimes.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's healed fine thanks @Mazarita but this will be a lifelong thing unless medicine catches up as I had this particular thing (that I had undone a couple of months ago) done as a bit of a not much option left following lots of failed attempts to fix it otherwise. On my GP letter it alone could have been grounds for a DSP application, so I guess that gives a sense of how it's not going away and the impact it has. Life really has been a bit crushing this year!

I can sense the darker times you have and that you've lived with it for a long time. This depressive thing I'm going through has made me think of often and how difficult it would be going between extremes like I imagine you have and could. I also catch a glimpse of it in your writing and posts sometimes and imagine there's stuff that bubbles for you inside.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, I'm an introspective person, think about a lot of things, trying to get first hand understanding of life. There are things I despair of, but somehow I seem to have gone past that with them into a more okay place at times. Sartre said 'life begins on the other side of despair'. I've never really liked that, but it sticks in my mind.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I think of you that way @Mazarita, imagining you deep in thought trying to make sense of and understand things. It would be easy to become almost stuck in that at times I'd think.

I don't know how to move beyond despair sometimes and I question whether it's something I will be able to ever fully do. But I know, through people like yourself, that it is possible.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

More hugs, @CheerBear.

Yes I have been very lost and a bit insane in my thoughts sometimes. Creativity has helped me to turn them into something worthwhile in some way.

Everything you have happening in your life, the spoken and the unspoken, is challenging. At times like that, it's really hard to see any way out of despair. Maybe freedom from it too is found in chunks of time.

I think I'm starting to babble, lol.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Lost and a bit insane in thoughts is how I roll sometimes too @Mazarita 😁 I think that's why I need yarn bombing in my life. I can pour feelings into pretty things to stick on cold benches 😆

Thank you for understanding. Big hugs to you too ❤ I really appreciate you Maz.

I'm going to send some coffee mugs over to a nest then jump in the shower before my big wakes up and claims the bathroom. I've really enjoyed the catch up again this morning.

Hope the rest of your morning goes OK and that sleep finds you at some stage.

💛

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Wonderful chatting at a bit more length with you this morning, @CheerBear, though I realise quoting Sartre at this time of day is a bit odd, lol. I really appreciate you too, CB, as do so many on the forum. Oh yes, sleep. I will have to do some of that. Goodnight and good morning.

7,811 - 7,820 of 27,230