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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

There are usually side effects with medication, in my experience, @outlander. I choose to tolerate the ones I get because I know I will be worse off without the meds. Some meds I've been prescribed in the past have had side effects I couldn't tolerate and so an alternative had to be tried. That's an extra dimension to the slowness of the process too in my experience.

Are you okay walking around the property on your own, are you reluctant to do that too, @outlander?

Some times I stick to plans, other times not so much.

When you said earlier about not knowing what to do or where to turn, is it worry about the future? I used to do that lot more when I was younger, tortured myself with it. Then life turned out different to anything I could have imagined anyway.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I worry about aome meds. The ones i was just on were good however it out so much weight on i had even the drs really worried because bo matter what i did or how i exercised i was still gaining amd just kept gaining i also had one that done the opposite and I put up with the side effects and nearly ended up in hospital because of how sick i ended up physically but it done nothing mentally. @Mazarita
Im ok walking around the paddocks. It saves my car on the rocky road i can just walk around filling up the tubs that need it and the horses that i feed have sheds either in the paddock or close by ao i just carry my phone and keys with me

It is about the future but also about the present. I just dont seem to be having much luck at all and am starting to loose the will to keep on fighting what seems a loosing battle so im looking for options and steps i can take to keep me on the recovery typr path even with setbacks. I guess apart of it also finding 'me' and what i want to do etc. I mean im a carer but i think after pop im not sure thats what i want to do. I just seem to be questioning alot of things. Did you use to/still do that?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I dont have anyone offline to ask. I just get in trouble and blamed all the time. As if i want to be like this hey.
They all seem to want want or expect somethinf but when i need help everyone dissapears

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I've got a fair degree of peace of mind about the future now, @outlander, though I worry about future housing and the way the world is going in general. Actually I'm a natural born worrier about just about anything, but I don't get so emotionally into it as I used to. These days the worries pass by more as thoughts and don't effect my mood so much. That's the way it seems to me anyway. I'm sure some of that is because of meds, some to do with having been under the care of psychiatrists, psychologists or counsellors for over 25 years. Maybe I've learned some things.

But yes I was so scared about the future when I was in my twenties. And I felt lost many times.

What happens if you don't fight it all, @outlander. Maybe there's a way to relax and not even think of it as a fight exactly. Maybe more a process? If you get what I mean. Not sure I do, just saying it because that's what came to mind.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita forgot to tag you in above msg

I think im like you in the sense im a natural born worrier for as long as i can remember its been like that but i still get all the emotions attached.
I havent had a stable support system since the first time i asked for help abit over a yr ago its been constant changes.. maybe when i get some good supports thatll change. Thats what im working towards atm.
I do feel very lost most of the time i dont know what to do with myself. In a way because i grew up fast i feel left out with my age group i find it hard to interact but to make friends i need to interact.maybe one day ill get better that too...

Noit does make sense what you said. Ive been what i call floating for a while now and it helps for abit but if i stay like that for a while i start to gk even further downhill. Im a 'fix it' type of person. It doesnt have to be rushed but while im looking for some solutions like psych options i can keep just abit more stable.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's good with the psych options, @outlander. Being active in seeking my help and treatment for yourself is a healing thing in itself, I think. Just about any time we reach towards something healing, I think it starts to heal us. Not that we ever get perfect, but from my experience it can all become more livable over time.

I'm like you in that I avoid social situations a fair bit, and I get very nervous and shy still in some situations (I was paralysed with shyness when I was a child).

I hope the supports that will help you start coming along more soon. In the long run, I think I've learned something from all the counsellors I've seen, even if there wasn't great sympatico between us. Ultimately though it's great when you click well with them, I think.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ive learnt something from each professional and often the people i meet to. Most of them not very good lessons. It takes a while now to be comfortable around anyone ad even longer to trust.
I get nervous and shy too i ca speak to people but i have to be careful because i start to stutter under presure or because im so nervous.gets pretty embarassing too.

I do want to heal and get well but at the same time im scared too. Scared of what might be in store and what ill have to endure to reach some sort of peace. I know i have my forums friends but i do feel rather alone offline and i guess that fuels the fear abit too. @Mazarita did you feel like that too?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I've often felt lonely in my life, even when there were a lot of people around me, @outlander. I was an only child and both my parents were very distracted with poverty, gambling, how to meet the next rent payment. I played alone a lot. At school I had few friends. Things improved when I moved out of home.

I hope for you that some special people will come into your real life (as well as here on the forum). There's nothing like good friends.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thats the same for me too. I often feel lonely in a room full of people. I just dont seem to click with anyone well. I didnt havr friends through school either i was usually the one being bullied.. it seems i can relate alot to you and your experiences/emotions etc.

I am glad that things improved for you. Your so very lovely and im lucky to have 'met' you here. Thank you for listening and also taking the time to discuss things with me too ❤ @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Lovely to spend time with you, @outlander. You are wonderful. I'm glad we met and have known each over a long time now.

Should we try to go to sleep again?

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