FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

711 - 720 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I've had about 4 1/2 hrs so far.

I just wish I was getting time to do some more enjoyable stuff when out. ATM it's all essential ap'ts (3 Dr's wanting to see me more often) and a bit of shopping. Not getting a chance to get to Flourish or One Door drop-in centres. I'm also doing the Living Beyond Abuse course half a day each week, so it's a huge change from the isolation before. I'm sure that's a good thing for both of us but it's taking me time to adjust to and most of it leaves me wanting recovery time for hours.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, I know what you mean about a lot of activities outside the home being medical or psych appointments. I have that thought about my life too. Mostly though I just appreciate the feeling of looking after my health and being looked after in an ongoing way. If you're anything like me, there might also be a tendency now to place higher expectations on ourselves that we still can't always meet. As in, the expectation that we will be able to go go all day and not need hours of recovery time. We both have bipolar 1 and we need to cut ourselves breaks. At least it's hours and not weeks, months or years of recovery time, as it has been for me at times!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It probably would be longer @Mazarita but there's always something else to be done that I can't postpone. Doing both the LBA course and the work with the psychologist is pretty intense. Plus my meds haven't stabilized, plus I've been so physically ill ... whinge and moan. At least it's the weekend now so hoping to slow down a bit.

I've started enjoying music again which is always a good sign. I'm listening to Fat Freddy's Drop while we chat.

I do have some other online jobs to do this morning (stories due tomorrow for writing course etc) but am happy to chat a while longer. What do you have planned for today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Meeting a friend on the beach around lunchtime today, @eth. She also has bipolar and is really very unstable and unwell at the moment. Walking on the beach may help her, and will be good for me too. She talks a lot in a long stream very often, so having my feet, the sand and water to ground me too will be good.

No worries if you need to keep it a bit shorter tonight. I wouldn't mind getting back into bed soon too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I like that you are able to support your friend @Mazarita. Sometimes that's good to bring us out of our own shell of needs. Put on your listening ears. But make sure you are heard at times too. I'll probably go back to bed after dawn at this stage but have 3 lessons to do as well as the 3 stories and my head works best in these hours of the day - when there;s no interference going ( people or too much electrickery as Cat Weasel used to say!).

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Haha, I like electrickery and remember Catweazle, @eth.

Yes, I do get frustrated with this friend sometimes because of the speech streaming. But I love and feel connected to this woman, including in some ways that suggest to me that we are soul sisters in some ways. I'm not completely passive in the face of her pressured speech and often jump in just for the sake of being heard too sometimes. Agreed that it's helpful sometimes to support others to help ourselves.

Also agreed that the night time hours can be the very best time to be creative. It's one of the reasons why I too have been such a night owl for so long.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm supposed to be trying to sleep from 10.30 til 6ish @Mazarita but there's only so much time I can spend in bed if I'm awake! Considering the alternatives e.g. behaviour in the past when hypomanic, I think they should just be glad I'm keeping busy quietly and not disturbing them. I know they just want to help (bro and SIL) but they really don't seem to get what hypomania can be like. And that's despiite quite a bit of reading on the topic. Must be time for me to get my book out there!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, I find that people who have not experienced bipolar on the whole can't fathom the complex states of being it creates. It's so easy to say 'sleep hygiene'. But there's only so many years of trying to sleep in bed and being tormented by tossing-turning insomnia a person can handle. I too feel it is a better option to be awake and doing something creative or useful. It creates less misery in me. Meanwhile, I keep trying to improve the 'sleep hygiene' and make slow steps in that direction (with typical bipolar aberrations).

Having said all that, I think I'm going to be awake until dawn now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

LOL at your last comment in your post @Mazarita. I'm going to have a coffee to pick up the flow a bit. Now that's not surrendering to what's happening I know and against all the guidelines but F it! Better to use the energy when I can get most done rather than push to be productive at other times during the day when I have less and other people are pulling me to do different stuff.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sometimes it feels like we are required to be the most model of model citizens when it comes to regulating our lifestyle with bipolar. At the same time, we have the most difficulty doing this. It aint fair I say! And I rebel!

I'm going to make a coffee too, @eth!

711 - 720 of 27,230