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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hoping you get some good rest this morning @Faith-and-Hope and that your lunch date goes well.

I don't think it's wallowing as such, more creating and holding space for yourself, acknowledging where you're at gently. It must be hard for you to get space to do that with so many people dependent on you being there for them all the time.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, everyone.

@Faith-and-Hope, hope your family reunion is rewarding. I have had a few aunt and/or cousin reunions over the past decade. I found it exciting meeting family I hadn't seen since childhood. We were all happy to meet again. Hope the same for you.

@eth, so happy your day felt like a celebration! Even more awesome is you being suddenly independent via Sheba now! Great birthday present to yourself!

@outlander, can't remember the tags now, but always good to see you. Hope your time out was helpful.

@Shaz51, hope you have an easier day today, scotirish sister.

@Appleblossom, I too like 'finding the rainbow'. And Eth's idea of sharing in the pot of gold, hehe. Would be interesting follow a science trail about rainbows too. Tell us what you learned, if you feel like sharing.

@CheerBear, was lovely to catch you earlier this morning. I've had more sleep since. Hope your day is unfolding kindly and gently.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes and no @eth ..... it’s such a potpourri of things.

There are days when the kids are not functional, bed-bound in darkened rooms, but they have to put the strategies and behaviours in place to draw themselves out of that state, and they do.

There are other days where mr.f&h is wound up and controlling so it involves hypervigilance to raise a shield against that and try to defuse it, or simply get out of the house and away from it, taking the kids out too, or encouraging them to disband and disperse .....

Other days things roll along with the semblance of a “normal” family, and you can sort-of forget that he and the kids are as unwell as they are, although for me at least, mr’s condition is marked in his physical appearance.

Within that shifting framework there is a lot of scope for personal space these days, especially as his daily regimen takes him out of the house for decent chunks of the day too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi and thanks @Mazarita ..... 💕

I am looking forward to it, and yes, that has been my experience too .....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita hope you feel refreshed from the sleep you've been getting.

Glad to hear there is space for you in your days @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, six hours in two bursts last night, much better than 2-3 for days at a time. I still may go back and get a bit more sleep. Or maybe not. Still in my nightie. Could go either way.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's excellent @Mazarita. Get it while you can, I say. I will probably do likewise hear at some stage. As you may have noticed I've had periods of elevation over the last couple of days. Wouldn't it be nice to just enjoy being happy without worrying about mood escalation? Or just sleep without worrying about depression?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, it would be nice if we didn't have to worry in those ways. For me, it's a feeling I can't really trust myself. Can't relax into being who I am for fear of that taking me to strange and troubled places. I try not to be completely hypervigilant about it though. For me there has to be some naturalness to how I am. Can't be constantly trying to change myself, if you know what I mean.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Me too and I totally agree with you @Mazarita. One of my warning signs is when I start getting more into things like my astrology calendar and numerology and aquarian stuff - it's all a lifestyle choice for many people but I can get too far into it when I'm elevated. Last year was a classic example of that. Walking circles around the firepit every time I was in the garden! Imagining that the wild cat and the possum were my familiars (in a wiccan way)! Doing rituals before I got creative (while doing that on-line art course).

When I'm getting ready to travel I have to monitor myself closely. It's a drain not being able to just trust my own brain. There's probably a poem in there somewhere!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Interesting about how the wiccan in you comes out when you are elevating, @eth. I've been interested in paganism for about 20 years now. Oddly enough, I'm not into spells or rituals. When I tried them out a long time ago, I felt my nervous system couldn't manage the energy. The way you are describing them, I can see how they might become like OCD repetitive behaviours if taken to extremes. Superstition I'm not fond of in general these days (even though, in contradiction, I remain superstitious myself about some things, eg. touch wood etc., lol). I'm used to pretty out there magical thinking from C though. His wild mind takes the cake in my experience! I never fail to be surprised by some of the things he comes out with. Amused sometimes too, which is okay with him. He laughs about it a lot himself, but in another way believes it all.

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