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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita

trying to catch up on conversations yesterday.....

so much talking....wished that I had been around and had the energy..

I feel uncomfortable with goodbyes....coming from childhood....

it is not necessarily the person themselves and I know logically that they are going away for a certain amount of time....it is the feeling of loss as they depart....I also suffer chronic depression which can be triggered ....I have to prepare myself in advance and talk myself through it...sometimes having a back up person to talk to or visually see...I try to talk myself through it now...

hope that makes sense....if it doesn't ignore

wishing you special moments where you do something different in you solo time...

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita I'm having nerves about making the bookings but I've done it before so I should manage.

I'm also a bit nervous about being at the festival, haven't handled crowds well this year. So I'm just telling myself it's a camping trip and the rest will unfold when there. Shellie Morris is the headline act and Yirrmal is another one I'd like to see plus there will be cultural activities during the day. And the bungul (corroboree) at the end of each day is always a highlight for me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Sophia1 I hope I'm not the trigger for those feelings you describe. But if I am, just know that it's not really goodbye, it's see you when I get back. I don't do forums on my phone so there'll be 2 weeks I'm not around but I'll be thinking of you and looking forward to seeing you when I get back.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

brilliant with your planning and organising...booking your flight...inspiring...

just what the doctor order for you....I think the saying used to be..

@Mazarita enjoy your artgroup and catch up with friend...

@outlander sorry to hear that you weren't that well yesterday...I have not heard of that art either...am very intrigued and want to start something too...so please please show us your artistic outcomes...exciting..

@Bunniekins loving the tattoo ideas...handshakes....I was thinking ...winks using morse code type of thing...we would probably all end up being locked up together...

we could all wear green or have a symbol of a greenpea stamped on our hands...

@CheerBear your days busy with your young ones...remember those days as if they were yesterday and how tiring at times...other times sheer joy at what my children taught me...would love some of those moments back now....how many times do we hear that?

hoping that you get special moments for you...craft? your interest?..

@utopia ...the shower debacle..I used to just have a shower automatically when worked all of those years...second nature...even when depressed...now it is a ritual....If I am going out..I am anxious the night before...that I will have enough time...sometimes to the extent that I set the alarm clock ridiculously early to allow myself waking up time even though I am up!!! then I have to have my breakfast...I eat slowly..work out what wearing...weather??? absolutely ridiculous...I have days if am going nowhere ...I might not get showered and dressed...or change into comfy cosy clothing ...usually if weather cold too wet...used to have open fire place...that sort of feeling.

well have written too much.,....

my day is another ultrasound and then the pool...love the pool

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Sophia1, thanks for your understanding of what it can be like to have someone close go away. I too have abandonment issues from childhood. It's also not great timing with my meds change, depression and instability at the moment.

But it's a necessary trip for C. He and the rest of his siblings have been called all together by their elderly mother. She wants to be with them all in the one room before she goes. This was the only time they could all get together, as three of them come from interstate. So I understand the reasons and accept them. In any case, I like to be as okay as possible with C's trips, as I take my own once a year, often for longer periods of time. Freedom is an ideal for us both. Still, doesn't make it that much easier.

Having said that, I am feeling a bit better just now. Have already tidied up the flat in between messages here. Will be getting myself into the shower soon. It's sunny today, where it was raining all day yesterday. I find the weather really effects my moods. Not feeling as sick physically as I did yesterday and earlier this morning too. A bit of bicarb in water helped my nauseous gut and the migraine med in the middle of the night has staved off the worst of that.

Hope you are finding healing day by day too, though I imagine there will be ups and downs in your progress along the way. And it may not yet be easy to say that healing is happening. It will though. Sending gentle hugs for your recovery days. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

no you have not triggered me...can be upsetting if someone leaves not explaining or takes a long time coming back...that is my issue though ...not their"s

more when in real life...

I am so thrilled for you that you have wisely thought about your plan...covering your needs..lessening any overcrowding of people etc....quality time spent with people you are looking forward to see...support in areas where you need...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

By the way, anyone who has any trouble with having to repeatedly log in to the forum, there is a tech thread here where some of us are giving information to Nik about it.

https://saneforums.org/t5/About-the-forum-including/Getting-logged-out-frequently/td-p/497397

@Sophia1, @eth, @outlander, @Bunniekins, @CheerBear, @utopia, @Shaz51 (can't think of who else to tag just now).

Not sure if this is a problem for any of you but thought I'd mention it just in case.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for that @Mazarita. I haven't been having that problem but it's good to know for future reference.

Hoping you're feeling well enough now to achieve your plans.

@Sophia1 I don't think there's any such thing as saying too much on this thread - it's the Long Rave! Maybe Maz can confirm this.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Sophia1 I really hope your scan is all clear x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes, long raving is encouraged here, @Sophia1, @eth. I'd be in big trouble if that wasn't the case, lol.

Eth, yes, I'm about to get in the shower now, flat is as tidy as it needs to be, all okay for now.

With that, I'll log off for a while to do what needs to be done with my smelly self. Hope to catch up later in the day. ox

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