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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

the event would be so uplifting for you overall...

so opportune to arise at this time also...

would it help to break it down into achievable...obstacles....positives with the help of your family...another's outlook can be helpful when we are overwhelmed ourselves..

you might even be able to address other options with those who you will be catching up with...there is time to plan..

I am hoping for the best outcome for you....let those you trust work on this with you..whichever way you decide to go...this way you are supported at all times..

thinking of you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Sophia1 @utopia @Mazarita @Appleblossom for encouraging me.

That's exactly the approach I'm taking to it @Sophia1. I do have some savings I can use for this @Appleblossom. I've made a list of questions for the people along the way and checked dates with bro. It's kinda falling into place so far. I will miss the computer pals classes I'd booked for but they weren't very expensive and I can probably do them next term. The other side benefit of going is that sil will be able to immerse herself in prep for her exhibition without my needs to interupt her.

So it's a balance between daunting transport/travel details and full-on temptation!

@Mazarita I hope you're going alright so far today. I'm here for a while if you want to chat.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi again, @eth, @Sophia1, @outlander, @utopia, @Bunniekins, @Appleblossom and all,

Back again after sleeping from when I wrote this morning. That's about 15 hours sleep since last night. Need a shower before I meet with friend tomorrow so that may be something I do today, or tomorrow morning. My close friend is very busy this with her home-based work this week, so perhaps not much chance of a sleepover there, or even seeing her as much as usual (but that may change).

Don't really know what to do with myself at this stage. Feeling depressed I guess, very unmotivated. Sleeping a lot is my signature depression symptom. It's raining today too, not that I have motivation to leave the flat anyway. Enough food in the fridge for some days yet. Glad I've got a planned outing tomorrow to avoid sleeping the day away. I feel like going back to bed again now, but will try to resist that.

Eth, sounds good that the travel plans are falling into place at this stage. Timing seems good too after the hearing. And as you say, it would be good for sil too. I'd be inclined to go, especially if bro agrees it's a good idea too. And catching up with a close friend would be so good for you. Money hesitations I understand, and they might keep me at home if I was you too. Also the daunting aspects of travel. But, on the other hand, it reminds me of how daunted I was at the prospect of my Melbourne trip a while back. While very challenging, it was a great thing to do, leaving memories I'll carry for a long time. That's a contrast to the relatively indistinguishable days of my life here at home mostly. Making memories is a good thing to do. Either way you decide, I'm on your side.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry to hear your close friend is so busy @Mazarita. I'm dodging the shower so far today too - we can encourage each other to do that at least. I know I always feel better afterwards and I should do it before it cools down later in the day. We're having proper Autumn weather here now.

Do you have any DVDs to watch or books to read? Or netflix? I tend to watch a lot more TV when I'm home alone. Passes the time and distracts me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita@eth Ladies ditto with shower so that makes 3! I agree with with eth some DVDs old favourites would be good to pass the afternoon. Maybe potter around in some pot plants if you have any or clean one small area of the unit that has been bugging you for months.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, I have barely been able to read books since I started anti-psychotics about 6 years ago. I read on the net, but not big things, mostly poetry and some short articles. No Netflix here, and free TV bores the crap out of me (except for Star Trek, which is coming up at 5pm, though I've seen them all before). I think my trouble concentrating generally on TV is also related to the anti-psychotics. It's like I just can't get into anything, something in me muted or stifled by the med. But it helps in other ways, so I live with it.

Really down in the dumps today. Everything seems too hard. Afraid I'm going to end up sitting in the chair in silence, just staring into space, as I do sometimes. Or back in bed. Either way it doesn't matter too much. Just got to get through this time of solitude, and of dealing with these damn med changeover side effects.

Bit disappointed with my close friend actually, how little she seems to be concerned for me this week. I did see her yesterday but she seemed to be pushing me away, now that I need her. There is an aspect of our friendship that is rather one-sided really, and she no longer needs me for housing assistance, now that she has a great place. Usually I don't mind that one-sided aspect, but this week I wish she was showing signs of being there for me more. But, as I said, that may change and I'll be all glad with her again.

Anyway, I'll finish this particular moan-fest, hoping that I don't miss you, Eth. ox

Edit: @Bunniekins, missed your earlier post while posting this one, thanks for replying. ox

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita. Sorry you are having such a hard time today. It sounds like you are lonely, which can be hard to combat when depression is around.
Do you have any friends /family that maybe you could call and have a long chat over the phone. That might help break up the day a little.
I understand how hard it is to stay out of bed when feeling so low.
A shower would be good. But I'm number 4 on this list of non shower-ers.
Am happy to keep you company here on the forum.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

One hour (or even ten minutes) at a time my friend @Mazarita just be gentle with yourself today xx I get what you mean by feeling muted by meds - I have times like that too. Very sorry to hear your friend is being distant after you were totally there for her for so long. Is it worth telling her straight that you'd like some support while C is away? Maybe you could spend some time looking at vids you've made and see if it inspires you to do a bit of that?

I just spoke to a friend in Darwin and will spend a few days with her if I get there. Another detail in place. And bro is travelling to where family are along the way a few days before that, so I can travel the first leg of the journey with him. Still just a research project at the mo but it's picked me up a lot today and obstacles are falling away one by one.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@MazaritaOMG I am exactly the same I cannot read books have read 2 in 3 years. Cannot watch tv as it bores me (cannot sit still)). I want to be off my meds but I dont too. It is not right.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @utopia, really appreciate your words. I may ring my mum later today or tonight, though she often gets off the phone fairly quickly. Still, I'm due to call her, and it would be good to chat for a bit.

Although it may seem I have a lot of friends, there's only really my close friend here and a few others I see rarely. Others are at a distance and I don't have much contact unless I'm down that way and seeing them in person. Having said that though, I have an email I can reply to from my oldest friend at a distance. Just in such a negative state of being, I don't know what I would say.

I got a smile though thinking that all four of us need a shower! LOL.

@eth, just got your message after I drafted this far. I'm so pleased for you that there is something in the pipeline lifting your mood and getting some positive excitement happening. Yes, those are wise words about one step/moment at a time for now with me here. Otherwise this week feels like it's going to be a gaping void.

@Bunniekins, it's a shame isn't it about the meds inhibiting our ability to enjoy books and TV. I used to watch so many movies, a vast number of them when I was younger. And I was a huge reader of books too. It is quite a loss. I need the medication though because I am too angry and destructive without it. Pity there aren't better meds for us yet.

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