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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, @outlander, @Bunniekins, @Appleblossom, @CheerBear and all,

Eth, exciting to have a big trip to consider, whatever the outcome of your thinking on it.

Greenpea, thanks for your kind words.

Outlander, hope you are okay today.

Cheerbear, haven't caught up with you in the mornings lately but thinking of you.

Apple, agreed that big is just as beautiful as little, with the wiser eye and heart.

C just left to go down south. I was very sad last night at the prospect of his absence, but went to bed early and woke up feeling better about it. Seeing a friend tomorrow who I haven't seen for a few months, and going to art group together. May see my close friend on Thursday and/or Friday. Need to make a physio appointment. Aside from that, there will be an unaccustomed amount of solitude. A bit daunting. Long nights and long weekends ahead of me. Not the best timing for it really because of the side effect problems I'm having at present. But I will survive, even if not very comfortable with it this time around. May even be spiritually good for me to be independent here for a short time.

More good wishes to everyone for today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita a bit of sadness and separation anxiety is totally understandable - hopefully C will stay in touch by phone. Good on you for planning to get to art group tomorrow and arranging a friend to go with. We'll be here to get you through the nights and weekend if you want us to. And I'm sure your good friend will be there for you too. Maybe you could have an overnight visit or 2 while C is away.

How did you go stocking up yesterday? Do you have some yummy treats to look forward to?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita While C is away you will have to spend some more time on the forums :). You have so many good friends on the forums and in rl it will go quickly and he will be home again like he never went away. xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for the encouragement @Bunniekins. Hope today goes according to plan for you.

PS Love the new frock!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth thank you eth @Former-Member made me this one so now I have two designers @Zoe7 and BabyDragon how spoilt is the pea :D. xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

no apologies...we all need time out for whatever.. @Bunniekins

we are expressing that we miss your joyful company...we do understand that you need time out..as do we all..

can't wait to see what you wear next...

was it @Zoe7 who showed you how to dress yourself laugh....oh how nice to laugh...between the princess and the pea...and the butterfly I am usually guaranteed a laugh..

excuse my ranting everyone...once I get the giggles my mind just goes bezerk on a different tangent..xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

and a well placed giggle is quite infectious @Sophia1

@Mazarita it would be difficult to separate. Hope you find a way to make the best of your solitude.

@eth I have usually held back due to $$$ but learning to say yes to good plans ... and make the dollars work ..somehow.

Hey @Bunniekins @outlander

Good Morning ALL

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Sophia1 Hi Sophia1 🙂 yes I am one very lucky pea to be dressed by some of the best designers on the forum. xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for that nice message @Mazarita. Today is turning out nicely. It's a beautiful sunny day. No breeze, so not cold. We are expecting snow later in the week on our nearby mountains.
@eth. What a lovely invitation. Does your friend understand about your restrictions? It might be nice to go back to your camp alone in the evenings and reflect on the day. Write in your journal. But I do understand the need to think it over clearly.
I hope you are able to put things in place to enable you to go.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks everyone. Gotta run again. Drs appt again. Will back later to read and respond properly ❤
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