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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, mostly I experienced a lot of depression and anxiety from childhood. First real expression of the high, impulsive end of the scale was when I was 16 and very suddenly ran away from home, never to return. I went from a very shy and modest girl, to a party girl in stilettos and plunging necklines in the space of one weekend! The best that can be done for offspring seems to be to understand the problems that may be faced and to be as understanding and supportive as possible. I say this never having children, but thinking that's how I would like to approach it if I had. Understanding too that things are never ideal and that there is our own mental illness that is a factor in how much patience we might have too!

Hi @Sophia1, hearing your difficult day by day journey at the moment. Very glad that you are returning to see your psychiatrist now. May the days forward get easier to cope with as time goes by. I too am not sure what wishes should be respected with you at present, so hope I'm not stepping on toes by posting to you at present. Let me know if that's the case. Always want to respect your wishes.

@eth, nice to feel fresh after a shower and hair wash. I'll be doing that in about 45 minutes. Not as exhausted as I was on first waking, thanks to you and others here for waking up my brain through forum chat. Hope you spontaneously find some interesting things to occupy your time today.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom I just read your tag from your F thread. Can't access it at the moment, the forum is saying I don't have enough privileges - what ever that means, I can't open your page. I'd like to respond properly but don''t think here is the right place to do so. Frustrating. Just know that I'm thinking of you. Scolding on here is totally inappropriate, I feel for you with that.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Hahaha! yes I am too old for the roller coaster ride. Keep the roller coaster for the young who can stand it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Lol about pinching your exes nose while he slept @Bunniekins. If I had done that I probably would have copped a backhander and he was too big to make him roll over.

Life is still something of a roller coaster but at least now I can observe it and adjust what I can to manage it - the hills are a little shorter and a bit further apart.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Maz I was a wild girl too but I think mine came from being in a dysfunctional house hold where I was a very angry teenager. I did however get huge crushes on my mothers boyfriends so maybe that was a sign of something happening or maybe that was just the fact that my father wasnt there emotionally. Who knows.

Bcoming a party girl in the space of one weekend though is extreme. I suppose back then there was no such thing as bipolar?? You were just considered to be a girl off the rails. My mum was thinking of sending me to a girls home for gods sakes. Anyway that is water under the bridge. All is forgiven.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Same here with forgiveness between my mother and I, @Bunniekins. It's taken a long time to get to this though, only in our later years. Still difficult feelings between us but partly that's just because we are very different people, almost opposite types of personality in some ways. The family home was full of domestic violence, addiction and emotional abuse when I was a child. I'm sure this has played a part in my later problems in life too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth My ex is a real softy. He would be snoring and I would lean over and hold his nose and he would wake and I would say really annoyed 'You are snoring!' and he would be all apologetic and I would then push him over to his side and lay there for 1/2 before I could go back to sleep again.

He is a good man his current gf is very lucky (I told him that) but I couldnt stand to have another man in my life regardless of how wonderful he is I value my independence too much.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I try very hard to forgive. For myself if for nobody else. I forgive myself for who I am and what I have done in the past. I forgive others because I have to otherwise I would be full of hate and I couldnt stand that feeling it would make me physically and mentally sick. So maybe it is selfish but I think it is the only way forward for me anyway. I am no saint either believe me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hard to be a saint with bipolar, @Bunniekins. I too believe in forgiveness, though I struggle with it at times, both towards myself and towards others. Agreed that it's the best way forward if it can be done. I think a lot of 'good' behaviours and attitudes have selfish aspects too!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just realised I need to go now, to get in the shower. @Bunniekins, @eth and all, thanks for the chat. See you next time. ox

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