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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Mazarita and everyone. Calling by with a quick hi. School is back today so it's off to do lunches and get some not-so-happy kids out of bed in a moment. They've been off for (a very long) three weeks and as much as they're not loving the idea of getting back into it, I kind of am.

Hoping it's a good day for all too 💗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita @Bunniekins @CheerBear and all here today.

My post was edited because I used certain words to describe an accident my sil had in the kitchen last night. Lets just say it involved a wayward bamix. I wasn't able to drive her to the hospital and was left feeling very useless. She is ok this morning, managed not to nick the bone miraculously and it was glued back together.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Good morning and I wondered what happened to your post 🙂 My mother years ago did a similar thing at Christmas by using her fingers not the special implement. Needless to say she ended up in hospital and was very lucky that it wasnt worse than it was.

I wanted to say not to worry about not being able to drive your sil to the emergency department. You are doing your best to contribute to the house and I am sure bro and sil realise that. I find driving by myself a nightmare. I will do it but I hate it. It brings up my anxiety but I am now trying to force myself to do things that I do not want to do because I feel better for it afterwards.

I will look around for a second hand exercise bike. I used to own a bike which I would ride around the streets with but it is just too dangerous these days as the traffic is so heavy. gp xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth,

Eth, I saw the original message too. I'm glad sil was okay in the end. Understand how awful that feeling you have about driving. Hugs. I would try forgiving myself, out loud, with hand over heart. We can only do what we can do. Human frailty. Acceptance. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita and @Bunniekins

Another day of little motivation this morning. Do you have plans?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Morning @Mazarita Hope you are doing well today. @eth Have my son at home today as we need to go to the gp this afternoon and she is always running 2 hours late .... so we sit around and my son gets more agitated .... oh well what can you do.... this is what happens when things aren't better organized. Hoping he will go off the deep end and they might put us through earlier .... never know your luck in a big city.

Am exhausted today ... don't know why ... just really tired.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hear that you are doing it tough, @Bunniekins. Hope things improve for you and family very soon. Tiredness is understandable given what you are going through.

@eth, no plans here other than to have a feral morning and do some video editing with the blinds shut for a while. Sorry it took so long to reply. I had to text and cancel a friend's possible visit. Just too ragged to see her and her partner. But the video stuff I've been doing this morning is making me happier, even if the 'postcard' of me isn't that pretty at the moment.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

💐💜 @Mazarita ......

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Faith-and-Hope, how are you today?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Not bad today @Mazarita .....

I was unwell a few days ago, then we landed a rollercoaster for a couple of days ...... today I am feeling more settled again.

Heading to a uni shortly to see whether completing an art degree is possible for me under my circumstances. I will need support when my family situation rollercoasts.... but I won’t know if that is possible until I ask, and I am hopeful it is .....
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