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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

The legs basically ache all the time, @eth, with better and worse times fairly randomly. Sitting at the desk too long often gets them sore and swollen. Which is a bit of a bast*rd as most of the things I love doing are on the computer. It's an obstacle to getting to the beach because I know I'm going to have to endure the pain while walking, distracts constantly from taking in the magnificence of the ocean and wide open space. But your suggestion of just going to sit there is a good one. Just that I get bad tempered about that because, really, I want to walk, just limited with it. Usually if I go to the beach, even just to sit, I end up walking anyway.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita can you focus on your breathing while you walk/sit - I do that sometimes to stop my cyclic self-blame or frustration or resentful thinking - including to not think about the discomfort when on the ex. bike. I actually count my breaths and my mind is busy with numbers instead of the other stuff.

Do you use the fisiocreme (sp?) before you go? Maybe that would help, about 20 min before you want/need to walk a distance. Or even volt**in creme? ( v**tarin)

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Could be a good idea with the fisiocrem, @eth. Doesn't take away the pain, but gives some relief. Not sure about the breathing exercises while walking. The pain is usually strong enough that, even if I'm trying to think about other things, or am thinking about them just in the flow of brain activity, the pain is there in the background all the time. The physio actually said to me at the last session that walking the way I do, pushing through pain, may be putting petrol on the fire of the problem. She recommended, as many others have, that I do pool exercises instead. So if I did do that (overcoming self consciousness about getting in the pool here with my overripe body), I could probably just do the sitting at the beach then and maybe just stand at the shore with my feet in the water. Ah, but it all seems a bit in the too hard basket for today. I'm not that keen on being in pools. But may have to do it anyway, when I can muster the strength for change of habits again. It is really inspiring though that you are getting on the exercise bike. That's another old thing I used to do but don't anymore, and it would be okay for my legs probably (not so much weight bearing).

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita You may be able to find a pool that has quieter times, not so many other people I found one that is nearly vacant during school and work hours for most people. And the people who were there were either overweight too or had disabilities to overcome while there. And it was 'heated' (not much) so a little easier to get into. I find I need water up to at least my waist to reduce the weight bearing. And you're right the exercise bike is much less weight bearing from the waist down.

I'm actually supposed to do weight bearing exercise for the osteoporosis but my feet are a problem doing that, so I don't do it much.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

There's a pool here in the building that I almost never use, @eth. Never know when the neighbours are going to be in it. And for some reason I feel more self-conscious about people who live in this block than complete strangers. But I need to overcome this at some point, as it's almost a mantra about the pool from my medical support people, and I have new bathers that are more complementary than most. Vanity, thy name is Maz! Lol.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

LOL! Self-consciousness isn't always vanity @Mazarita. It goes deeper than that imo. I feel it too. But I try to flip it - the people who do see me, see me trying to do something about my weight. And I try to use the adage 'those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind'. At least that's the theory. I understand about it being easier when it's strangers.

New bathers and even a support worker willing to come with me has only meant I got there once so far. So I'm not preaching, not by a long shot.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

They're good suggestions you've made, @eth. I'm just in a 'can't be bothered' kind of mood this morning.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Me too @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sometimes it gets like that, eh, @eth. Too much for my liking really. At times like those, I tend to put off trying to think about all the 'positive' things I 'should' be doing. And just ride it out one way or the other. I also get into rebellious moods where all the things I 'mean' to be doing for myself feel like I'm planning my life away and have no spontenaity left, something I used to love. But really my mood is not too bad at this point. Have woken up more, just my legs giving me the sh*ts mainly. Hope your mood improves too over the day. Sometimes days start off like this and improve as they go along. Hope it goes that way for both of us today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well said @Mazarita although I think you're much better at regularly planning and doing, especially about getting out, than I am. I'm getting more and more frustrated with my inability to travel or get out alone. Think about it a lot but hit a wall every time.

Hope your day improves too. I'm going to lie down again before much longer. Sil and I talked only yesterday about staying up all day and how it might mean more sleep at night. But it's just upright chairs at the table or the bed here in the cabin. No couch or arm chair, no room for either. So I sit on the bed a lot and drift off most days, even if it's only 15-30 min.

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