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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @eth, appreciate your thoughts. In this money driven world, it's going against the grain to think of what I do this way. Extra special when there is support for it. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita when I was able to work it was nearly always part-time (freelancing) and I always tried to do some voluntary work as well. My way of giving back to balance against the pension I was on (sole parent and disability carer). I value voluntary work very highly, whatever form it takes.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Nice attitude, @eth. So good that you were volunteering as well as working. I too value voluntary work in other people. But even there, a lot of people seem to think it has to be structured like a workplace for it to 'count'. I also think help we give friends and those close to us is voluntary work of a kind. There are so many ways to give to society, not just by fitting into hierarchical structures of work or volunteering.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I totally agree @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

How was your psych appointment on Wednesday, @eth. Only if you feel like talking about it, of course.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It was quite emotional @Mazarita. I had given her a copy of the draft of my NDIS statement at the previous visit and there were things in it that she hadn't known. Including my reluctance to shower and phobia of being totally naked. Very hard to discuss for me. I know I'm not alone in feeling this way, but it's very confronting for it to be out in the open now. Even here. And that's just one of 61 dot points in my statement. We talked about other things in it, and my lack of motivation to do anything while in this process. She has been summonsed to do a report for the appeal too. As is often the case, as helpful as I find the session while I am there, I have trouble remembering it in great detail afterwards. Usually just the more impacting parts of it. But she is very supportive and understanding and seeing her definitely helps me overall, especially in forming strategies for different challenges. The main advice this time was to just try to do one thing each day and not pressure myself further.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, you are brave to have let her know all those things that are difficult for you to express even here in the anonymity of the forum. It will be for the best that she knows those things. I too have trouble remembering sessions quite often, just parts of them, hopefully the important parts. I also feel though that my psych is helping me overall, even though what we do is very freeform. My mood seems to have improved overall since I've seen her and I feel much less weighed down by shame and guilt especially.

If I take a little longer to reply to your next message, it's because I'm just going to wash myself and get dressed in between our posts. Then I'll be back. May be going to my friend's place again today. We were just texting each other. But it won't be for a little while yet.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

My sessions are not as structured at the moment @Mazarita. They were for a while as we were doing the 'trauma mapping' in preparation for the EMDR but we're still not starting that until the NDIS stuff comes to some sort of resolution.

I should get on the exercise bike while it's still in the shade but it won't take long and I'll be back too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

We can both do things in between posts, @eth Dressed now and bed made. Email has come through about a video thing so will attend to that while you are doing your exercise.

It seems like a great idea to take a break from the EMDR while you are waiting for the resolution. I'm really glad you have your therapist to help you through this time too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well hell!! I did 10 min,3 km without a break. I'm back @Mazarita hope you're feeling fresh by now. I'm surprised that I don't get more puffed out by these initial goes on the bike considering I'm still smoking. I totally failed at giving up but am trying to reduce again.

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