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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita and good morning. Good vibes back atcha

I'm hearing you about motivation - I just put away clean washing that's been in a pile for over 2 weeks - bit like you with your suitcase .... but I did sweep the floor, get rid of all the mushrooms in the yard, and clean the toilet and bathroom benches and basin. Am expecting a few more chores to come my way today as sil's mother is coming to visit tomorrow.

Enjoy your video work. I have a few things I could be working on too but no motivation. Trying a 2nd cup of coffee to see if that helps.

Hi to you too @outlander I spotted you liking. Wanted to let you know I only get notified when I'm tagged due to my settings, so if you'd like to chat elsewhere anytime just tag me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, good on you with the domestic tasks you are getting done. You are sounding a little better than you were yesterday and the day before. In between my last message and yours, I've been drafting a 'confessional' post in another thread but wondering whether to post or not. Might sit on it for a while.

Hi @outlander, haven't see you around today, but just thought I'd send good feelings your way too. I like how we can stay in touch a little at times through just 'liking' each other's posts. It makes me feel good to know you are around like that, even when we are not chatting.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita yes I'm feeling a little better - the power of avoidance and distraction. Cooking last night turned out well. And letting bro and sil know yesterday how I've been feeling (not all of it but some). Please tag me if/when you post your 'confessional' - I'm happy to support you whenever I can. Hope you feel a bit better just for the writing of it.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Mazarita @eth and all here.
Im around just a really hard time atm so laying abit low. Been cleaning the house since 6this morning and no sleep. Running out of things to scrub!

How are you both?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Actually, @eth, you are one of the few people who might already know about some of what I'm considering posting, if not all of it, from our one-on-one night time convos years ago. But I will tag you too if I decide to post, though it's not something I really feel I need support for, more just a letting go of it again, if you get what I mean.

So glad to hear you let sil and bro know a bit about how you've been feeling. I hope they received your communication well. Avoidance and distraction can be helpful, for sure. Whatever helps get us through things sometimes.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander can you find an activity that slows you down a bit like watch a movie or read a book?

@Mazarita Happy to listen without comment if that helps. Maybe knowing some of it previously means I can support you better. I understand how issues can come back to the surface from time to time, even when we think we've dealt with them. Sending warm vibes and the hope that you can release what you've written in whatever way possible and that doing so helps.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

ive got music on atm and trying to finish mums drawing @eth its almost finished just final details. she told me she wanted to buy it but im just going to gift it to her for easter.

what about you? plans for today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No plans @outlander just plodding along. More detail in recent posts. Might go off-line now and read a book for a while. Enjoy the process of doing the drawing.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sounds good @eth happy reading

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thank you all for your kindnessess and support, last night was a bit difficult to get through @Bunniekins especially without my ingrained methods of dealing with stress by cleaning - this new place is well, new, and needs next to no cleaning at all!

Lovely to read you are working with your son on literacy, that is so very special for both of you, and so kind and caring of you. I'm loving hearing about your knitting progressing too.

I really feel for you @outlander and hear you when you mention you run out of things to clean! It's funny in some ways but so not funny in other ways. Long time ago, (this is really bad time of year for me too), I ran out of cleaning to do but could not settle so went to a friends house and cleaned all her walls and ceilings and floor for her too! In the end they discovered part of that problem was a really bad reaction to the new medication I'd been started on.

How I wish I could draw and paint as well as you and so many here do!

The no cleaning to do to deal with stress has me looking for other ways to deal with it.

@eth morning mist is so pretty and strangely comforting for me as well. It was really foggy here late last night, or early morning I suppose, really pretty watching the moon glow through the fog from my window before sleeping.

@Mazarita have been up since noon, it's 2 now, still in nightie myself but feeling a bit better after the stress of yesterday. Muscle tension and soreness of course from the anxiety, so not going to do much although my habits are trying to make me go into 'clean everything' mode.

Have washed the towels, they are now drying, so that's 1 thing done. Today is to be a relaxing day, so need to change my thought focus away from cleaning.

Glad you managed some quality sleep. That suitcase can surely wait until you need something that's hiding in there.

Hello and pleasant day wishes for everyone passing by @Shaz51

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