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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51, good to hear you are okay, even if cut off for now. Hope you have plenty of supplies needed while waiting for roads to be re-opened. Glad you made it there and back from the city yesterday. I think I would have cancelled if I was in your place!

I'm okay this morning, though I've only recently awoken again, after waking much earlier and going back to bed. I've thrown a dress on instead of my nightie, had breakfast, meds, and some computer. That's about it so far. This recovery from the big time in Melbourne seems to be taking a bit longer than I thought. Went to bed fairly early last night, just sleeping a lot in general.

But I've been very productive on the computer with video stuff over the past number of days. Have completed two projects I'd left hanging before going away and got a fair bit of admin and communication work done. That's a fairly significant part of the video making process for me, as I collaborate with people over the internet and then also submit things to festivals and other screening events (more forms and things to be provided etc.)

In fact one of the things I have come to realise once again is that, despite not working a regular job, I spend a lot of time working on the video making. It is my job now, I've turned it into that really. It's not full time and I'm working for free, but I do a lot of it. So from now on I'm going to try to feel less of a failure when it comes to the work issue and recognise that this is what I do. I give it for free to the world and some people do really appreciate it, that's one of the things Melbourne has taught me.

Sorry, @Shaz51, your simple question turned into a bit of a long rave. Just getting some things off my mind this morning. Thanks for asking.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You are not a failure my scotirish sister @Mazarita, you are amazing

I remember when I was 16 and that is when woman can go and do and be anything they want to be , my teacher asked me and I said "I am going to do private childcare " and she laughed at me

when I was 17 i started with looking after one little boy ( people would say " when are you getting a real job" )

then from the age of 17 to 43 I had lokked after children ranging from 5 weeks old to 12 years old

Mr shaz was very low yesterday afternoon and last night and a bit today , his mind is overthinking of everything , jobs that will need doing next week , everything getting behind and now he has stopped taking his meds as they are increasing his weight and he is going for a gallbladder scan on thursday

Last night I had a dream I was exercising , we have some hills nearby and i was climbing them and doing lots of going up and down these hills then I woke up all hot and sweaty -- feeling a bit tired now

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for your lovely words, @Shaz51.

Yes, it's what other people say or seem to think about us that hurts when we are not doing the 'normal' thing. And then it's too easy to take on board their negative judgements and get down about it. Lovely to hear your words affirming the positive. It's so wonderful that you wanted to be a childcare worker and did it, despite the naysayers. What a contribution to peoples' lives that is!

Sorry to hear Mr Shaz is low and being stop and start with his medications. He must be worried about his health. It's understandable but difficult for you to live with the ups and downs of things with him.

What an interesting dream, Shaz. Funny that you woke up sweaty and it seems like it's tired you out! I seem to remember being tired out by dreams in the past too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

There is a shift to the cool down south in the big Melbourne smoke. @Mazarita @Shaz51We are lucky it does not get as cold as in this painting. It is by a fellow who lost a lot of money in tthe Tulip mania and became a very prolific landscape artist but still not able to stay ahead of his debts.

Ah the things that motivate us ... to different deeds.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for sharing the painting @Appleblossom. It's beautiful. Hope you're feeling better now @Shaz51

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Admiring your talent and selflessness @Mazarita.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

yes thank you @soul , how are you

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Anyone on that wants to chat

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Shaz51 - feeling a bit blah. Hi @NameUnknown.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hope you feel better soon @soul xx

I have a sore throat tonight @Mazarita, @NameUnknown, @Appleblossom, @eth

and now feeling very arrggggg because cyclone nora is reforming and we have another cyclone called Iris coming too @outlander, @Snowie, @Appleblossom, @Faith-and-Hope

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