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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I read your post @eth. I'm going to reply here (hoping that's ok). I am really hearing you with it all and I can very much understand how days like yesterday, and the whole process you've been though, has taken that toll and knocked you about.

I wish things were different. I can not understand how anyone can think processes like these are anything but dangerous for anyone with a history of trauma (which is most of us). I also wish I could say something to make it not as hard for you, but I'm with you with how messed up it is.

Is anyone up at your place this morning?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks again @CheerBear Not much anyone could do to make this better right now, but I appreciate you saying you're with me. No-one else awake here - bro and sil are in the big house and I'm in a cabin in the back yard. I don't usually see them til after 9am.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I think you're incredibly brave. My NDIS process has not even really started (though I am doing it alongside a DSP process so I'm gathering things for both now) and it's triggered me to the point where it's close to too much already. I hear of what you've been through and are going through and it makes me angry for us all but it adds fight. It's wrong to need to fight so hard to get support.

I'm having a coffee at the moment by the tree I bump into Maz by sometimes (virtually). Bro and sil sound really supportive. Do they know how much it knocked you about yesterday?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It must be a beautiful tree @CheerBear What sort is it? Thanks very much for saying I'm brave. If I was isolated like I was before I moved here I would have given up by now.

I think they've some clue that it's a very disturbing process telling all my story in such detail, but they don't know the depth of what I've been feeling overnight.

I'm exhausted by the whole process which started with my access request last February, I think I'm too drained from it all to even feel anger at this stage. But at the same time wired from all the content of the statement I have to lodge for the case. Not wanting to leave out anything that will help but at the same time worried that I will say anything that makes it harder.

Enjoy your coffee. I'm not having one yet as I'm hoping to try for a bit more sleep in a little while. I've calmed down a bit since sharing that post on the other thread. Just having you reply has helped a lot.
I just get to feeling so alone about it despite the support I have.

I feel like I'm trail blazing for others at a time when I barely have enough energy to meet my own needs. The legal aid solicitor was only approved because my case raizes unique issues as yet untested in the AAT appeal process - so if we win we will be setting a precedent that will help many others with MH issues. As nice as that would be, it doesn't help me directly. And I'm feeling a bit selfish about that by this stage.

I really hope you have a win on both DSP and NDIS. It would make a huge difference to your life.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear I'm going back to bed for a while in the hope that sleep comes. Thanks for your support tis morning. Catch you later.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's a beautiful big apricot tree @eth. One of mine started to yarn bomb it with finger knitting and it has hanging baskets with flowers (portaluca at the moment) off it. And a little eco friendly bird feeder. It softens the heavy traffic of the main road by it.

It's good that your bro and sil have some idea of how hard it is, though I don't think anyone can really truly know unless they're in your shoes. I know how unbelievably hard it has been to tell details of my story like you have shared of yours, and to tell it the way I have had to, and there really aren't words to capture how much harm has been done by that.

What you're doing is incredible. To take on a system that is so enormous and so crushing - it's so brave. But I get how sometimes, especially when you barely have enough to look after yourself, fighting battles like you are is exhausting and might not feel right.

My kids are starting to get up and moving so I better head off and start my day. I hope you manage some more sleep. Feeling with you eth ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @eth. So glad that wonderful @CheerBear has been here for you this morning. I too have read your post on the other thread. I hope you are getting some more sleep now, and that today might allow you to wind down a bit from the intense darkness of the process you've been going through.

I too am in awe of your commitment to trailblazing this path, so that your own ongoing needs are met into the future, and for a precedent to be set for others following in your footsteps. Your courage is so admirable, even more so because of the fear and torment of the experience. I too am so angry that it has been made so hard.

Thinking of you with love, hugs and nurturing feelings. Maz x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita well said Maz xxx.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @eth sounds pretty rough i havent read the other thread yet and i dont have any experience with ndis ao im not the greatest of helps in those areas but im more than happy yo listen
Im glad CB was around for you this morning and hoping today is a little better for you and your sleeping now


Morning to everyone

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

💜💐💕 @eth ....

I have picked up the gist of what you are struggling with and just want to add my best wishes in here. I am a little too full with our own rollercoasting situation at the moment to sit closely with you, but not so overwhelmed that I can’t hover in the background .... listening to the gorgeous forum friends who are sitting right by your side through this.

Hugs .....

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