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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's awful that your medical appointments aren't being that productive @outlander. You deserve better than what you are going through. take care.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @soul ❤
How are you today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Not bad @outlander - I had a physio session which was quite painful. Felt like I was going to break.

I recall my first ones though when the pain was so bad that I would have tears running down my face and twice I had to lay down as I nearly passed out. I'm getting there and others have it worse off than me.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ouch @soul a good sign your not in as much pain now. Is your physio happy with your improvements? I know you put lots of effort into your exercises ans stretches.
Have you been able to rest today after that and maybe have a hot shower to relax the muscles?
How did your dinner/lunch go with your kids the other day?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@frog Sorry frog that things are so tough. I agree alot of formites are doing it tough atm. xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

My range of motion and strength is continuing to improve. @outlander. I will enjoy a warm shower tonight.

Lunch the other day - hmmmm??

My daughter messages me before she comes over to say she's not really hungry because she had a late night, got up late, had a late breakfast - blah, blah, blah. So she sat at the table whilst my son and I ate. She did take some leftovers home though.

She doesn't live far away and usually comes over mid week as well. We are having a takeaway dinner tomorrow night together.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thats good to hear @soul its been a looong road for you too in trying to get better and stronger again. Oh thats abit of a shame with lunch but glad you and your son enjoyed it and im sure she liked the leftovers too. I hope tomorrow night goes well too. Do you watch a movie as well on the night or dinner and a chat?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

We usually walk the dog before hand and depending how tired she is and whether she has been to an exercise class or has study to do, we will have a bit of a chat and then she's off.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sounds nice @soul looks like you have a pretty good relationship wiht your kids

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

My daughter and I get along better now that she has moved out. She was a bit torn between dependence and independence. My son has a lovely kind nature. They certainly are my greatest achievement and have been my reason for being here many times @outlander

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