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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No @Former-Member im not doing well at all. Right now i hate being alive so need to go calm down.
Thanks though ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

What`s up my @outlander

Hello @Mazarita,

Reading your posts today @Former-Member, @NameUnknown, @Bunniekins, @eth and my brain is a bit headachy at the moment with everything that is going on , but wanting to send you all tender hugs

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member Thanks mohill thanks for your kind words. A few years ago now I used to put my earphones on and turn the music up really loud as well and used to dance but I don't anymore ... Sorry you have a fuzzy head I know the feeling. "Moments of fame for Maz!" and well deserved too! xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@frog Hello my amphibian friend 🙂 how are you going today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander


@outlanderwrote:
No @Former-Member im not doing well at all. Right now i hate being alive so need to go calm down.
Thanks though ❤

it is an awful place to be in..feeling not wanting to be around...you must be exhausted mentally and physically..

all the helping others in your family that you do....would I be correct in thinking..expected?

outlander won't mind...outlander can do it...

not a nice feeling at all being taken for granted if that is what is happening...

I have been feeling rubbish lately....I still manage to laugh sometimes now thank goodness...

I hope that you find something to smile about and a double hope for something to make you laugh....

have you got any pets other than horses? cuddly ones...my two teddy bears are having many hugs and conversations laugh....

hopefully you will have some peaceful rest and tomorrow we will all say hello again at some stage..

take care lovely outlander ...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

yes @Former-Member your right im exhausted. its been 2 very big days at the drs and all ove the place in not knowing what to do, think, feel, or who to trust. just getting thrown around like a sack of potatoes.

your right again it is expected, i like helping but not to this extent. ive been trying and questioning who i really am. who am i underneath all this mental health, all this pain, all these roles and expectations. i dont think thats a straightforward answer but it would be nice to know and work on. the one thing i know wont change is my caring and kindness for others. i wouldnt want it to, thats a part of me i like.

your under lots of stress too, im glad you still smile, im sure its beautiful and laughing is good too. we need that in this life dont we. your post gave me a reason to smile thank you.

i dont have any pets of my own. the horse i look after is mums but i look after them all really, i take care of the dog and the bird and the rabbit but they arent mine either. they are siblings and mums pets. maybe if i get my own house one day i thought about getting a kitten/cat but not sure thatll happen anytime soon.

how are things going with you- have you written on your thread recently with an update?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins I saw you've been having a rough time. I hope it's easing into the evening. Thinks haven't been good for me and I'm exhausted. Looking around Forum Land there seems to be a lot of heavy stuff going down

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@soulim sure you tagged me earlier today but i cant find it? can you remember what you wrote or where it was?

hi @Mazarita@frog@Bunniekins@Shaz51@Former-Member @Teej

@ethim sure you tagged me as well- i apologise for any missed msgs to everyone. how was your day?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @outlander - sounds like you are struggling with your identity. You still have all these family responsibilities at a time when other young people would be living life to the fullest. I really feel for you. It isn't fair.

I wish that one day you will feel confident to spread your wings and head off on an adventure or even relocate, It seems that whilst you are still "available" you will be taken for granted. This shouldn't be happening.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yea struggling with identity for sure @soul been like it for a while now and both gp appts ( yesterday and urgent one today) didn't quite go to plan. I found your post from the morning
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