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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thanks @Shaz51

how are you today?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @outlander


@outlanderwrote:

thanks @Former-Member

yes this morning i work up to mum saying can you watch the little one cause shes sick and needs to go to worse. and then was adviced that next week ill need to stay over their house to watch the kids as mum will be out with her sister after a quick arrangement. id rather just keep to myself with family, they dont give a hoot anyway unless i do something wrong. ill try to file the thoughts away since ive acknowledged them now, just hard to do sometimes. pops having one of his annoying days too which isnt helping at all. right now id rather take a cool shower and go to bed- barely sleeping atm and having alot of really hot flushes after having temps for a few days.

how are going anyway?


I might be out of order here...so apologise in advance if I have got this wrong..

It sounds as though your mother assumes that you are on call to look after your siblings at the drop of a hat....

If that is the case...

can I say....wrong

Regardless of what relationship you have...anyone's health...you are your own person..

you are entitled to say I am sorry but I will not be able to help you out with that as I have made other arrangements.....walk away...try not to get into what arrangements...if is too hard and you are in the firing line...a response along the lines of ..I have arranged to meet a friend and don't want to let her down..

the friend of course being yourself as we all need to be a friend of ourselves...arranging an appointment for self all part of self care...not wanting to let said friend..ie self ...down you cannot change your commitment..that would be letting your self down..

on the day you just take yourself off somewhere away from family that you would like to be...even a park..read a book...whatever is easy...not costly and will be a treat for you..

does that make sense?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

no your not out of line @Former-Member and yes you have that right. its been like it for yrs. ive been working it on it though. i know things wont happen overnight and she works and her bf works too often leaving of a morning so am with the kids. i cant say what she and her sister are doing as itll give away my location. the sad thing is my mother knows i dont have anything better to do. i dont have any friends so i cant use that excuse. at least when they are off work they take the kids to school and usually pick them up of an arvo which wasnt happening before i was doing it all. weekends and school holidays not a great deal of change yet which is really hard. the day that she wants me to look after them is at night and then get the ready for school the next day so not much happening at 7pm-9am the next day so not really an excuse either.

they have alot of expectations most of them unspoken one being this but also needing to be ok all the time and being that perfect daughter/carer/sister/student (when at school) trying to work on those too. and yes your right im always in the firing line which keep me on edge but im hoping that with the changes im making and trying to become more resilient thatll change too.

feels like im trying to work on a thousand things all at once.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Former-Member you're amazing the way you can think of and support others at a time when there's so much happening for you. I hope you have a good outcome from going up the chain to communicate with your son's hospital.

@outlander I hope you've had some rest today while your sister was watching movies. And that your Pop settled down.

@Shaz51 hope you don't get flooded. Sounds like a ton of rain in a short time.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sisters home now thankfully @eth ive vacated to my room for abit of a breather before i need to do dinner.
Hope your days been ok too

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth It actually helps me helping others..

Have not had promised telephone call from up the line yet..

I had not heard about the rainfall..hope too that you and mr Shaz are safe

eth I hope that you are relaxing..

take care all..

feel like nodding off..won't sleep tonight if I do

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi all just wondering if anyones still up?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am watching the football. My team has scored two goals.
Can’t sleep @outlander?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Are you okay?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No not really just keep tossing and turning @soul feeling unsettled
I dont watch football.. go your team though
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